Secret Santas
by Razzbairee
Summary: Christmas is near in the DOA mansion. What to do for Christmas? Secret Santa, of coarse! Warning: OOC --COMPLETE--
1. Chapter 1 Secret Santas

Disclaimer: Don't own DOA . . .

Read & enjoy! My first fic here that isn't in a POV!

Chapter 1 - Secret Santas

A lone figure walked through the mass of falling ice & snow. It was cloaked in cotton & its brown hair flopped about in the wind of ice. Its arms folded across its chest to insure warmth, taking steady steps as to not fall face first into the mass of snow. It stopped, froze in its steps. It looked around when a sudden realization hit it.

"Where's Ryu?!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I win!" Hitomi squealed.

Everyone at the table threw down their cards in frustration. It was the fifteenth time Hitomi won poker. They were in the midst of giving up.

"Shall we play a different game then?" she asked her friends.

They nodded, relieved. Hitomi collected all the cards & began to shuffle them when Hayate came into the room. His coat, boots, & face were covered in ice. Bass, Brad, Tina, & Hitomi stared at him from the dining room table. They had forgotten he went out.

"I lost Ryu!" he screamed.

There was the sound of the toilet flushing then they watched as Ryu came down the hallway. Hayate stared at him, thinking he must have been a figment of his imagination.

"What? What is it? Is there evil afoot?!" he pulled out his katana.

". . . He . . . been here," Tina said to Hayate.

"Then who was that following me?!" Hayate questioned her as if she knew.

Someone was banging on the door.

"The door! Bass, Tina, Brad, Hitomi! Take cover! Hayate!" Ryu jumped to the side of the door with his katana ready, "Get the door!"

There was a big question mark on everyone's face as Hayate went over to the door to open it. Out fell Kasumi, just as covered in ice as her brother.

"When did she leave?" Brad asked his friends at the table.

"You left me behind. How could you? You're so mean . . ."

Tears were forming in Kasumi's eyes.

"Ah, get over it," her brother said as he left the room.

Helena came in from the hallway dressed in a black tuxedo with a matching hat. Everyone watched as she river danced around the room. Twirling around, tapping her feet on the hard wooden floor. Then she came to a stop in front of the dining table, her arms up in victory & breathing deeply. Everyone did the obvious: clap even though they didn't understand the point in it all.

"It'll be Christmas in a few days," she began to speak while trying to catch her breath, "And we agreed to randomly give & receive gifts from everyone. I've written our names on these pieces of paper. We can all draw."

She took off her hat, careful not to mess up her hair & cause the pieces of paper to fall out all over the floor, "It's best to do this early so we can have time to find gifts. There's no telling who we will get. So who's fir-"

"Me!" Kasumi screamed & raised her hand before Helena could even finish her sentence.

"Um. Okay. Just. Stick your hand in there & take a name."

Kasumi had to take off her glove before she could rampage excitedly through the hat with her eyes closed & head turned. Helena tried her best keep the hat in her hands.

_I wonder who I'll get! I wonder who I'll get! _Kasumi thought.

She picked up a piece of paper, but then threw it back in the hat, "No, wait! Wait!"

Ryu smiled at her childish behavior.

Then she picked up another piece of paper, but then threw _that_ one back in, "No, wait a second!"

Helena sighed out of impatience. Just when Kasumi had her third piece of paper, but threw that one back in, asking for another second, everyone in the room (including Jann Lee who just came in) screamed for her to just pick a name. She agreed & kept her fourth piece of paper. When she took a look at her paper, her smile disappeared.

"Who'd you get?" Hitomi asked her as she got up from the table to see.

Kasumi hid her paper from her.

"You can't tell anyone who you have, Hitomi," Helena told her, "It's a secret."

"Oh . . . Secret Santa?"

"Yep! So who's next?" Helena asked, waving the hat.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The 16 DOA fighters were gathered in the living room near the fireplace & heavily decorated tree. Each holding a piece of paper with their victim's name written on it. They all had looks of shock & confusion on their faces except for Zack, Brad, & Tina. Their looks were of utter excitement. Helena hadn't drawn a name yet. She was to take the remaining name. She stuck her hand in the hat taking the last piece of paper. Her jaw dropped when she read it. Everyone was looking at her & somewhat pitying her, because they too have had unexpected results. Except for the three . . .

"Well," Helena began, regaining her composure, "I'ma go take a shower."

She left the room, fighting the urge to just fall face forward onto the floor.

"So!" Tina broke the silence, "Who wants to come to the mall with me?!"

The group looked at each other, wondering who was going to answer her question.

"Me!" Zack said, standing up from the couch.

"A girl, please . . ." Tina ruined his fun.

"Damn . . ."

"I'll go," Leifang said.

"Me, too," Hitomi joined after her.

"Alright then! Let's go!" Tina left the room with the two girls behind her.

"I gotta go work out . . ." Bayman said as soon as the girls were gone, somewhat depressed.

"Wait for me!" Jann Lee said as he left after him.

Leon grabbed his coat, "Gotta check on my plants."

He left outside towards the greenhouse.

". . . Well, I gotta take my motorcycles for a tune up," Bass said, "Who's coming with me?"

"I'll go!" Zack said.

"The rest of yall aren't comin'?"

They stood there in silence, staring at him.

"Forget yall then!" Bass left with Zack behind him.

"C'mon, Ryu! I am in desperate need of Zen . . ."

Hayate & Ryu left down the hall with Ayane pleading to come along behind them. Christie, Brad, Gen Fu, & Kasumi were the only ones left in the living room.

"So who'd you guys get?" Christie asked them.

"We can't tell you! It's a secret!" Kasumi said, shaking her head.

"Who cares about secrets! . . . I got Ryu . . ." Christie said, her lip twitching from future frustration.

"You did?!"

"Yes . . . I did-"

"Get him cookies! He loves those!"

". . . Isn't he trying to watch his weight?"

". . . So he gained ten pounds from Hitomi's sachertortes on Thanksgiving! Big deal! Get him cookies!"

"Okay . . ."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, at the mall . . .

"What's this guy's favorite color?!"

"Um . . . Blue? I think . . ."

"Good . . . I like blue."

Tina was looking through the rack of shirts in the crowded Pac Sun.

"If you happen to find anything black . . . tell me," Hitomi said.

Tina turned back to look at her with a mischievous grin on her face, "Who do you have? My dad?"

"No . . . um-"

"Tell me!"

"I have Bayman!"

Tina's grin grew wider with every second.

"Yes, I know. I have no idea what he likes . . ."

Hitomi was expecting Tina to blow up with laughter. But instead, Tina placed her hands on her shoulders.

"He doesn't like black," Tina told her in a calm voice.

Then she suddenly shook her, "He likes orange!"

"Ugh!" Hitomi fixed her hair, "How do you know?"

"Hello! Anyone who is a friend of my dad's is a friend of mine's!"

"Oh . . . I see."

"Okay, now," Tina started, taking her hands off her friend's shoulders, "Where in hell is Leifang?!"

Leifang was in a store across from Hitomi & Tina, Underground. She was looking at a wall of shoes with a shoe in her hand when Tina & Hitomi showed up behind her.

"What cha doin'?!" Tina screamed, making Leifang squeal & the shoe in her hand fly up into the air, "Who are you shopping for?!"

"None of your business!" Leifang fumed with her face red.

Tina & Hitomi (who caught the shoe in her hand) were wide-eyed & surprised at her sudden outburst. So were the other customers in the store.

"Gees, Leifang, is it _that_ serious?" Hitomi asked her fuming friend.

"Yeah . . . It's not like it's . . . Jann Lee . . ." Tina nudged Hitomi when she said his name.

Hitomi giggled.

"Huh? Huh?!" Tina kept nudging Hitomi who instantly burst with laughter.

She bent over, laughing as hard as she could. Her two friends slowly backed away from her until she finally stopped laughing. She sighed, wiping a tear from her eye.

"My funny spot . . ." she blushed.

"So anyway, just tell us who you have. We promise we won't laugh," Tina said to Leifang.

"Okay, fine! I have . . . I have . . ."

Leifang saw it coming. Her friends would burst with laughter despite their promise. It was all too real.

"Zack . . ."

She shut her eyes tight in order to keep the laughter from bursting into her brain. But there was no laughter. She looked up to see Hitomi & Tina just standing there.

"Oh . . . Zack . . ." Tina began, "That's good . . ."

"Yeah," Hitomi pitched in, "You're one lucky girl!"

"Yeah."

"Oh, thanks, you guys!" Leifang said, relieved that her friends had not a problem with it.

Tina & Hitomi looked at each other.

"Zack & Leifang, sittin' in a tree!" they sang, twirling around, "K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"God help me . . ." Leifang said, watching her friends.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, at the DOA mansion's gym . . .

"You call yourself a warrior?! I eat wimps like you for breakfast!"

"Oh, yeah?!"

"Yeah!"

"Yo momma!"

"What?!"

Bayman, who felt insulted, screamed then charged at Jann Lee who charged at him in return. Jann Lee aimed for a Dragon Kick, but Bayman was out of sight. When he landed, he looked around, wondering where his adversary had gone. He squealed when he was suddenly tripped, his face meeting the mat. Bayman was on his back now, keeping him in a grappling hold. Jann Lee thrashed about, trying to get free. But to no avail.

"Okay! Okay! I give!" Jann Lee surrendered to his better adversary, "Just get off of me! You stink . . ."

Bayman let go of Jann Lee, but squished his face into the mat as he picked himself up. Jann Lee gasped for air, then picked himself up as well.

"Sorry. I'm stressed out over this Secret Santa mess," Bayman apologized with his arms behind his head, not actually meaning it.

"Who do you have anyway?" his younger friend asked him.

Bayman coughed as he said the name.

"Who?"

Bayman coughed some more.

"Who? Damn, I got something in my ear," Jann Lee stuck a finger in his ear, trying to get rid of whatever was blocking his hearing.

"Kasumi! You happy now?!" Bayman screamed out of frustration.

Bayman plopped down onto an exercising machine & began lifting the weights, unaware that the warrior in front of him was fighting the urge to get in his face & laugh his heart out. Or maybe he was aware . . .

"Who do _you_ have to play Secret Santa with?" Bayman asked him, sitting up.

Jann Lee turned red.

_I bet it's that girl of his . . . _Bayman thought with a sly grin across his face.

"It's . . . well . . . um . . ." Jann Lee tried to think of the best way to say it, "It's Tina."

"Oh, really? Give her a banana for Christmas!"

Bayman fell off the machine, laughing.

"I don't get it," Jann Lee said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, at the DOA mansion's indoor tennis court . . .

"This is it, folks," the announcer whispered into his microphone from the balcony atop of the crowd, "Advantage for Ayane. If she can just get this point, the game is won."

Ayane held the ball in her hand, the rack in the other. Sweat was pouring down her face. The headband was doing no good. Her white skirt & matching top was drenched with sweat. Her sneakers squeaked as she moved steadily about, getting ready. She was staring her opponent down. A fierce opponent. One who managed to get this far in the game.

"Ayane versus the wall. Who is going to win?" the announcer whispered into the microphone once again.

The crowd waited for Ayane to serve the ball. She threw it up in the air then whacked it with all her might. The ball bounced inside the box which was a relief to Ayane. But it soon came back from the wall to go the other direction. Ayane darted after the ball, but she was too tired from all her previous running & wasn't fast enough to catch the ball. It flew past her, barely missing her racket as she jumped for it. She skidded across the court until she finally came to a stop near the court door. She picked herself up & glared at her opponent.

"You! You have beaten me for the last time!" she screamed.

"Ayane?"

"What?!"

Ayane was at Kasumi's feet, but she quickly picked herself up & dusted herself off.

"I was wondering if I could play tennis with you," Kasumi said in a quiet voice as to not upset her sister, "Hayate & Ryu wouldn't let me play Zen with them."

"Oh, really? They wouldn't let me play Zen with them either."

". . . So . . . can I play with you?"

Ayane's face lit up, "Of coarse not!"

Kasumi was in the midst of tears.

"Please! I'm only trying to be nice! I never meant to be disliked by you!" Kasumi pleaded with her head low & hands together.

All Kasumi got in response was a raspberry.

"You're so mean . . ." Kasumi sniffed.

_That's okay. She's getting coal for Christmas, _Kasumi thought.

"Okay, fine! You can play," Ayane gave in, "But this ain't no sissy tennis! You play, you play hard!"

"Um, right, sure." Kasumi agreed, "By the way, you used double negatives. It's suppose to be 'This isn't sissy tennis.'"

Ayane glared at her sister, making her run to the opposite side of the tennis court.


	2. Chapter 2 The Role of Santa

Chapter 2 - The Role of Santa

The automotive shop stood in the middle of the city, covered in snow. It was nighttime & the lights were on illuminating the snow with orange light. There was the sound of men talking & yelling from inside the automotive shop.

"What do old Chinese men like anyway?" Bass said to the men around him.

"Girls?" one of the workers asked.

"Other than that . . ."

"Um . . . teenaged girls?"

". . . What help are you?!"

"I say buy him some clothes," Zack said.

"What kind of clothes?"

"What do old Chinese men wear?"

"Let me see. What was that thing called . . . Kimonos?"

"Yeah! Kimonos!"

"Yeah! . . . Wait . . ."

The workers were working on tuning up the two motorcycles in the garage. Bass was sitting atop a counter with Zack waiting for the workers to finish.

"Who do you have again, Zack?"

"Leifang," Zack laughed, mischievously, "Off to Victoria's Secret I go!"

Bass stared at him, ". . . Damn, you're a pervert."

Bass stared at the men working on his two motorcycles, "What's taking you shrimps so long?!"

"Sir," one of the workers started, "be patient if you want us to install your hyperactive security systems with computerized voices." 

He turned towards the camera with a big grin, "Yes, the hyperactive security system with a computerized voice. Capable of fending off vehicle thieves by using various offensive cuss words. Necessary for all those vacations to dangerous neighborhoods with hobos & skanks. Just ask your local auto mechanic for details."

". . . But I said tune up!" Bass said.

". . ."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, at the DOA mansion . . .

"Hello?! . . . Hello?! . . . Are you there?! . . . Hello?!"

Leon waited for a response near the intercom.

"Hello?! Are you there?!" he screamed into the intercom again.

Unknown to him, a dark figure was coming down the stairs towards him. In its hands was the most menacing object one could ever think of. And it was to be used to end Leon's nonsense for good. The figure swung the object, bringing it down hard onto Leon's head.

"Ow! Who . . .?" Leon realized who it was, "Oh, hi! What took you so long?"

"I was sleeping," the figure responded.

"What? Step into the light, my friend . . ." Leon said in a mysterious tone.

The figure stepped into the living room light revealing itself to be a very grumpy Gen Fu. His eyes were red with bags underneath & dried out drool cling to his cheeks. And in his hands, he held Chicken Soup for the Aging Soul.

Leon had to fight the urge to gag at Gen Fu's unsightliness.

"What do you want?" Gen Fu asked in a raspy & annoyed voice.

"Who do you have?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Because . . . Because . . . I dunno what French people like!"

"French people?"

"Do you think I should buy her a mime for Christmas? They sell those things, right? Or would she rather have some french fries? Or maybe-"

"Leon!"

"Yes? You have an idea?"

"Yes & I'll tell you when after I sleep."

Gen Fu fell onto the carpet.

"Gen Fu?" Leon tapped him only to realize he was fast asleep.

He looked around, took the book from Gen Fu's hands, then sneaked off around the corner.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in some room, someplace, somewhere in the DOA mansion . . .

"You must feel the wind. Let it consume your inner being & lead you towards total peace & solitude. Believe in paradise . . . Now repeat after me. I am one with the wind."

"I am one with the wind."

"I breathe individuality."

"I breathe individuality."

"I am calm."

"I am calm."

"I outlived my selfish desires."

"I outlived my selfish desires."

"Because I am a lonely super ninja."

"Because I am a lonely super ninja."

"Who needs to call Jenny Craig."

"Who needs- What?!"

Hayate fell back onto the carpet, laughing. Ryu was turning red with embarrassment & anger. Both of them were in the room they shared, sitting cross-legged on the carpet. The room was decorated in blue & black from lava lamps & dressers to bed sheets & walls.

"_You_ need to call Jenny Craig!" Ryu shouted at him.

"What?!"

Hayate slapped Ryu who looked shocked, but then slapped him back. Hayate, who _also_ looked shocked, slapped him _again_. Suddenly, they were in an all-out slapping, biting, & pulling hair wrestle, rolling around on the carpet, slamming each other into dressers.

Ryu was banging Hayate's head into the carpet when Christie came in, "Hey, Hayabusa, I was wondering . . ."

The two dysfunctional friends froze when they saw her staring at them.

"Never mind," she left.

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" Hayate shouted, trying to get Ryu's attention as he continued to bang his head into the carpet.

"What?!" Ryu stopped.

"Who do you have?"

"Who do _you_ have?!"

"Brad. You?"

"Jann Lee."

"What do intoxicated people like?"

". . . Intoxicants? . . . Oh & butterflies!"

". . . Right. Gottcha."

"Okay."

Silence . . .

"Now, um, could you," Hayate finally spoke, "get off me now? I'm getting a weird feeling in my pants . . ."

"Oh, right, sure!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in _another_ room in the DOA mansion . . .

Helena was lying upon her bed, reading with a lamp as her only light. She straightened her glasses, trying desperately to read & understand the book in her hands, Motors, Fuel, & Women. Obviously this wasn't her book. Bass was scribbled on the back cover. It wasn't easy getting the book either. Mostly because of the drunk she encountered in his room.

Helena looked up from the book as she remembered . . .

She crept down the dark hallway, making sure she wasn't being watched. She looked behind her then in front of her before she threw herself up against the wall. She took steady steps as she went closer to her destination. Her hair fluttered in the wind with the curtains from the windows. Sweat trickled down her face, sliding off her nose. Her eyes glowed with determination. She suddenly rolled until she stopped at the foot of a door: her destination. But someone was coming towards her direction. 

_An enemy! Hide! _she thought to herself.

She threw herself up against the wall in order to camouflage.

Bayman was coming down the hallway, stretching until he noticed someone in a white near one of the doors. He stopped in front of them & stared at them until he finally decided it was best not to ask. He continued his stroll down the hallway.

She scraped herself off the wall, looked at the disappearing man, then stood in front of the door. She suddenly gagged & coughed, beating her chest until out came a hairpin. She carefully used it to unlock the door. Her heart leapt when she heard the familiar double-click. She turned the knob & opened the door. It was dark in the room. But in this room, lied what she was after. No one could stop her now.

Helena flicked on the light, "Where is it? . . ."

She walked around the room, but then screamed when someone jumped out from beside the bed, "Hi-agh!"

She leapt at her opponent, swinging her hands around, slapping them with everything she had, making crow-like battle cries as her opponent was ready to give up.

"Wah! Wah! Wah!" she cried flexing her hands in front of them.

"Whoa! What the deal?! You're not Christie!"

". . . Wha . . .?"

Helena got off Brad so he could stand up.

"What're _you_ doing here?!" she asked him.

"What am _I_ doing here?! What are _you_ doing here?!" Brad asked her back.

Helena felt insulted.

"That is 0F4J7LE20009KASAP73 classified!" she shouted, poking his chest, "Now, what're you doing here?!"

"Waiting on Christie!"

"Why?!"

"What? I can't get a little close & personal!"

". . ." Helena decided not to comprehend that, "Why would Christie come in here?!"

"Ain't it her room?!"

". . . No, haven't you noticed the posters of half naked women?!"

Helena pointed to all the revealing posters (mostly Zack's).

"When did she," Brad started, ". . . you know . . ."

"What?" Helena looked stupidly confused.

"She's not . . . you know . . . you know . . ."

"No, I don't know."

"I thought she was homosexual!"

Helena looked shocked, "She . . . never was, Brad . . ."

"What?! Where have I been?!"

"Drowning in your drunken bliss of happiness."

". . . Oh . . . Well, I'ma go now since there's no point in me being here."

Brad stepped to the side before he took off in a run for the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, outside in the front yard of the DOA mansion . . .

Jann Lee fell backwards into the snow. He flapped around then threw himself up. His face, coat, & boots were covered in the cold snow. But he didn't pay it attention. He was too busy admiring his work of art.

"I shall call you Leon!" he said to the snow angel, smiling as hard as his cheeks let him.

He froze as his smile disappeared into a frown. Leon spoke . . .

"Shut up!" he whacked Leon, "You better be sorry"

He pointed towards the mansion, "Now, go clean your room! It's embarrassing when we have guests over here that see how dirty your room is! And make sure you wash your underwear!"

"Bark! Bark!"

". . . What?" Jann Lee asked Leon with an eyebrow raised.

"Bar roo roo roo roo!"

"Do you have something in your throat?"

"Bark!"

It finally came to Jann Lee that Leon didn't have something in his throat. It was the dog across the street. Jann Lee turned around, spotting the small dog in the front lawn. He was tied onto a small tree that stood in the lawn. Wrapped around it was a miniature coat, made just for him. Jann Lee knew the dog all too well. It the same dog that stood in that very lawn almost everyday, barking his head off. Why? No one knew. But it was very annoying. And of coarse, it brought out Jann Lee's temper. He twitched as he frowned at the dog. 

_Damn dog . . ._ he thought.

He went across the street over to the lawn. The dog immediately closed its mouth. Jann Lee looked around to make sure no one was watching. A warm smile appeared on his face as he knelt to pet the dog.

"Good dog!"

The dog sensed that his anger had gone & was wagging its tail as Jann Lee petted it.

"Nice mutt!"

Jann Lee grabbed the dog by the throat, ripped the collar off the tree, & then ran off towards the mansion with the dog yelping in his arms.


	3. Chapter 3 The Deer of Christmas Dinner

Chapter 3 - The Deer of Christmas Dinner

"Boy, this snow sure is getting worse. I can barely see the road."

"Maybe we should stop & wait till the snow clears up."

"Nah. It's not that serious. We can make it back."

"Oh my god! Look out!"

Hitomi & Tina screamed as the truck nearly swerved off the road.

"Kidding!" Leifang fell back in the chair, laughing.

Hitomi & Tina glared at her from the front seat. But then breathed a sigh of relief that it was nothing.

"Woo! That was funny . . ." Leifang wiped a tear from her eye.

The three girls had just finished their shopping & were heading back to their home in the midst of blowing ice. Leifang wiggled her legs up & down as she hummed to herself. Hitomi was fiddling with her gloves & zipper. And Tina was trying desperately to drive on the icy road.

"I'm glad we got the shopping done. Now I have nothing to worry about," Tina said as she tried to see through the ice covering the windshield, "I can barely see . . ."

"We're gonna die, aren't we?"

"Shut up, Hitomi. I-am-experienced."

"Experienced? At what? Bananas?"

Leifang & Hitomi jumped around in their seat, laughing.

"Hey, Tina! You got something on your face!" Leifang joined Hitomi.

The both of them laughed, hysterically at Tina who was turning red, glaring at them. She was humiliated.

"Don't you ever bring that up again!" she shouted at her friends, 

They quickly hushed up, staring at her with frightened eyes.

"That was the worse year of my life . . ."

Tina cringed as she remembered . . .

"Swallow! Swallow!" the men cheered.

A young brunette sat on the stage surrounded by them. She wore a black cat outfit with ears & a long tail. She looked around at the men, nervously. Each of the men was heavily drunk with bottles of booze in their hands. The heavy techno music seemed to pound in her ears, distracting her train of thought.

She winced as the men kept cheering, "Swallow! Swallow!"

Some of them fell backwards, the alcohol finally kicking in & out.

The brunette looked down at the banana in her hand.

_Banana . . ._

The doorbell rang. Tina got up from her bed & opened the door. No one was there. She stepped outside of her apartment, looking around & scratching her head. Before going back in, she noticed a small, brown package at the foot of her door. She picked it up & carried it into her room. She set it down on her dresser, noticing that it was blank. Hesitantly, she opened it up. Her face turn blue, her eyes wide, her lips quivered. She slowly reached in, shaking. She finally had a clear view of the long, yellow fruit inside.

She threw her hands up & screamed, "Nooo!!!"

Her voice echoed throughout the neighborhood.

"Tina! Watch out!"

Hitomi reached over, grabbed the steering wheel, & turned the truck. It swerved on the icy road, thumped, then turned completely around. Leifang squealed & fell off her seat with the pile of presents falling onto her. The truck finally came to a stop at the side of the road. Hitomi & Tina were frozen to the back of their seats, their hands tightly grasping the steering wheel, the look of fright on their faces. Leifang picked herself up, throwing some of the presents off her.

"Are we dead?" she asked with a red mark on her forehead.

Hitomi pried her hands from the steering wheel, breathing deeply at her near death experience.

"What'd we hit?" Tina asked, staring at the lump in the road through the headlights.

Hitomi & Leifang slowly crept closer to the windshield to see.

"Should we go see what it is?" Hitomi asked her friends.

As a yes, Tina popped open her door & got out of the truck. The two younger girls did the same, hugging their coats to their bodies. Tina started off towards the heap in the road with Leifang & Hitomi following closely behind her. A little too close . . .

"Get off of me!" Tina whispered & whacked at them to get them off.

They stayed where they were, watching Tina get closer to their victim. Tina took one last step until she looked over the heap.

"What is it?" Leifang asked her.

"It's a man," Tina said back.

"I don't wanna go to jail!"

Hitomi slapped her, then grabbed her by the collar, "No one's going to jail! Now, you pull yourself together! All we have to is dispose of the body! We'll have to dismantle it! I'll get the arms, Tina'll get the legs, & you can get the head!"

Leifang & Tina stared at her wide eyed & blue.

She let go of Leifang, "Flashback . . ."

Tina kicked over the body to get a better look. A white face, gold knee breeches, & a red shirt appeared.

"No, wait, it's just Michael Jackson."

"Oh," her friends said.

"Hey, what's that?"

The three girls left the King of Pop & went over to two shells that were cracked apart with yellow splattered across the road. On one of the shells were two black x's.

"Oh my god!" Leifang screamed, "We killed Humpty Dumpty!"

"We're bastards!" Hitomi said.

"No, wait, what's that over there," Tina pointed over to _another _heap in front of them.

They ran over to the brown heap & stared at it.

"It's hideous . . . What _is_ it?" Leifang said, trying to resist the urge to gag.

Her friends looked at her.

"It's a deer, Leifang," Hitomi responded.

"Oh," Leifang said, "What're we gonna do with it?"

"I don't know."

"We're not gonna go to jail, are we?"

"It's just a deer."

"He could have had a family!"

Tina put her hands on her hips & tilted her head to the side, thinking, "Well, we don't actually have anything planned for Christmas dinner, do we? We'll just haul this mofo off!"

"Do I get to butcher it?" Hitomi asked, excitedly, jumping up & down.

". . . Yeah, sure."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile . . .

Two men rode on flashing motorcycles down an empty street. The lights flickered in green, yellow, purple, blue, red, & orange, lighting up the houses around them. Also emitting from the bikes were various computerized remarks.

"You have violated this motorcycle. Prepare to be fucked up, asshole."

"God! How do you shut this thing up?!" Bass screamed.

"What did that guy say?" Zack asked him from the other motorcycle that was spitting out cuss words.

"What guy?"

". . . The one who told you how . . ."

"Oh, that guy . . . I don't know. I was staring at that pimple in his nose. I wonder how it got in there . . ."

Zack just sighed.

After enduring the repeated threats & curses from their motorcycles & the bright flashing lights, they made it to the mansion. They had pounding headaches by then. They hopped off their bikes & kicked them into the garage while the bikes cussed up a storm.

"Ow, mother fucker! Watch it, jackass!"

"Whatever . . ." Bass slammed the garage shut, then leaned back on it, rubbing his temples.

"At least you didn't have to pay for it," Zack said.

"Yeah."

"Hey, look! Someone built a snow doggie!"

Zack skipped over to the middle of the yard where a small dog made out of snow with a coat stood. Zack got on all fours, admiring it as if it were the greatest creation known to man.

"It . . . is . . . a masterpiece!" he said with tears forming in his eyes, "It even has a little coat! How cute!"

Bass stared at his friend until he snapped repeatedly at him, "C'mon, Billy! It's cold out here!"

"Coming!"

Zack ran off towards the mansion behind Bass.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That coming morning, on a balcony . . .

Ryu leaned on the rail. He looked off to the moon as his robe fluttered in the wind. The moonlight illuminated the many sparkles of nature's sweet scent. Ryu breathed it in, enjoying it as his brown hair whipped about his face & shoulders. He was waiting . . .

A slight squeak was heard behind him. He threw himself around to face the screen door behind him. His heart pounded deeply as the door slowly. He was in the midst of serenity when he finally saw who it was. Kasumi stepped out of the darkness behind the screen door in pink pajamas with white bunny slippers & a pink teddy bear under her arm. Her hair was a mess as she rubbed her eye, yawned, & stretched.

"Why do we have to keep meeting at three in the morning?" Kasumi asked.

"It's our little secret, Kasumi," Ryu responded.

He picked Kasumi up & hugged her . . . And hugged her . . . And hugged her some more . . . Kasumi winced as she was squeezed.

"Hayabusa, please! I can't breathe!"

He dropped her & looked off to the sky, "Isn't it wonderful?! Just me, you, & the moon . . ."

Kasumi looked up at him as stars appeared in his eyes.

"What about Irene?"

"She'sstuckinNinjaGaidenthere'snohopeforherWhat shall we do, my love?" Ryu turned back towards her with a big grin upon his face.

"Hayabusa," Kasumi started, twisting the tip of her feet on the ground, "I really think we shouldn't see each other anymore . . ."

"What?!"

Ryu put a hand on his forehead & fainted. Kasumi caught him before he hit the floor.

"Kasumi . . ." he began to speak with tears forming in his eyes, "How could you say that?"

"Because . . . Because!" Kasumi dropped him, emitting an ow from him & stood up, "I feel like a slut!"

"Kasumi . . ." he sat up & spoke to the young Shinobi with her back turned, "Just because you're sleeping with a married man doesn't make you a slut."

"Then what does it make me?!"

"A mistress!" he said, cheerfully.

"Hayabusa!" she started, walking over to him.

"Don't hurt me!" he threw his arms up in defense.

Kasumi stopped at his feet, held her teddy up in front of her, & spoke, "What is the meaning of resolution? It is just to give us hope? Or is it just a myth? Why do we cry? Why do we bleed? Why is the sky blue? What is the purpose of cellular respiration? Only a god of gods knows the meaning of water. If you throw us, do we not fly? If you tickle us, do we not wet ourselves? And if you sit on us, do we not scream get off me?! . . . To be or not to be . . . That was yesterday's question . . ."

She held her head low as Ryu stared at her, wondering if that was even English.

"Uh-" he began, but Kasumi cut him off, placing a hand over his mouth.

"I must go, now," she said, stepping slowly away towards the screen door, "Au revoir, senor . . ."

She slowly disappeared.

Ryu sat there in his spot, staring at the door.


	4. Chapter 4 Two Days till Christmas

Chapter 4 - Two Days till Christmas

Hayate ran as fast as he could, speeding through the trees, his feet getting caught in the heavy snow now & then. He stumbled & fell face first into the snow, but quickly picked himself up & kept running. His pursuer should have been far from him now, lost in the white forest. He darted behind a tree & jumped down into a small ditch behind a log. He clutched his chest through his coat, trying to slow his heartbeat & catch his breath. Sweat was trickling down his face & drenched his hair. He didn't know how long he had been running, but it was long enough for him.

He listened to the forest to see if he could hear his pursuer. There was nothing, but the sound of the wind, birds, & snow dropping from the trees. He sighed of relief at this. But then, a whoosh was heard & Hayate's face was covered in snow. The forest echoed with a squeal of laughter from a familiar voice. Hayate wiped the snow from his face to reveal his annoyed frown. Ayane was laughing as she pointed at him with a snowball in another gloved hand.

"You didn't really think you could outrun me, did you?" she asked, arrogantly, "You know I'm the fastest!"

She then brought back her arm back to throw the snowball. As soon as it was in the air & coming towards him, Hayate rolled, picked up some snow, brought his arm back as soon as he was on his feet, & then threw the snowball at his younger sister. Ayane turned, surprised to see the ball coming at her head.

"Nooo!!" she screamed in slow motion as it finally collided with her face.

She slowly fell down into the snow that quickly consumed her underneath it. A smile appeared on Hayate's face as he cheered & jumped up & down. But he soon stopped as he realized Ayane wasn't getting up. He stared at the lump of snow, waiting for her to just pop up & declare her defeat. He looked at his watch then went over to the lump. He knelt down, dug his arms into the cold snow, & pulled out Ayane's head. Her tongue dropped out of her mouth & her eyes were closed shut.

"Ayane?" Hayate began, but she didn't reply, "A . . . yane? What're you . . . Ah!"

Ayane had suddenly reached up & grabbed the collar of his jacket. She tried to speak, but instead, spitted water in Hayate's face & coughed. Hayate frowned & dropped her back into the snow. Ayane's laughter was muffled under the snow. She jumped out of the snow.

"That's what you get for not letting me play with you & Ryu!" she grinned.

"Ayane, why must you torment me?" Hayate said, wiping the water off his face with his glove.

"Because I love you."

". . . Really?" Hayate blushed with a smile on his face.

Ayane stepped back, nervously, "No, where'd you get that idea?"

Hayate frowned.

"Hey! Who do you have to give a present to?" Ayane asked, excitedly.

"Brad . . ."

"Dang. I was hoping it would have been me . . ." she sighed as Hayate looked at her with a questioning look, "You see, Hayate, you're the only one that really understands me . . . And I love you for that."

Hayate's heart leapt, "You do?!"

". . . What?"

He sighed, frustrated, "Nothin'."

"I got Leon, the scary, bulky man. I have no idea what he likes. I'll just give him a camel. He can ride the darn thing in the yard."

"I hate those things . . . They like to spit on people . . ."

Ayane sat down on the nearby log & Hayate followed her.

"I wonder who has me . . ." she said.

She imagined the Christmas day. It was her turn to open her present. She hastily did so only to reveal a white box. She opened it & lifted the contents out: a leopard costume with a thong. Her lip twitched in disgust as she stared at the object. She then looked up to see Zack smiling & holding up his thumbs.

"I should kill myself right now . . ." she told herself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in the DOA mansion's front yard . . .

Gen Fu was on the porch, swaying back & forth on the rocking chair. He stopped & slowly breathed out the smoke from his pipe then continued rocking. The smoke rose into the air until it finally disappeared within the light snow. In light flakes the snow fell, fluttering before meeting the ice below. Icicles clung onto leaves, cars, & windows & the roofs & roads glistened with ice. The neighborhood had slowly transformed into an ice kingdom.

Gen Fu stretched as best he could in the long coat he wore then continued smoking his pipe. Leon came from around the mansion & looked down at his plants that were neatly placed in front of the porch. The stems & leaves were covered in ice & were drooping to the ground. He huffed & shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Dying, aren't they?" Gen Fu asked, watching him.

Leon looked up at him, solemnly, "Hopefully, they'll be fine when the summer rolls around. Not much I can do for them now."

Gen Fu just shrugged, closed his eyes, & kept rocking.

The sound of children yelling & screaming was heard down the road, "Get the ball! Hey, that was mine! Watch out! Get it! Get it! Dang it! Ha ha! Idiot! Got it! . . . Whoa, look at that! It's going . . . uh oh . . ."

"Ah!" Gen Fu yelped as he flew backwards in his chair.

Leon burst with laughter.

Gen Fu shot onto his feet with a blue ball in his hand. He glared at the six children, standing on the sidewalk in front of the yard. They each wore large coats, boots, scarves, hats, & gloves. And each wore a look of shock as they stared back at the old man.

"Uh," one of them, a boy, began, "Can we have our-"

"Which one of yall threw this?!" Gen Fu screamed.

The children pointed at each other.

"Well, fine! If you don't wanna tell me," Gen Fu fixed his chair back up then sat down in it with the ball in his lap, "then you don't get your ball back!"

He then proceeded to light his pipe once again.

The children looked at each other, then at the old man, then at the other man who was _still_ laughing & was now leaning onto the side of the house. The boy started towards the mansion.

"Hey, hey! Get off my lawn!" Gen Fu yelled at him.

The boy quickly sprinted back towards the sidewalk.

Just then, Helena opened the front door. Eight heads turned to stare at her. Helena was cloaked in a black tank top, a jean jacket, tight, black leather pants, & boots. On her head rested a pair of black sunglasses & a black bandana with strands of her blond hair hanging out. She took her glasses off, spit on them, shined them, then placed them back on her face. She noticed the many eyes, staring at her.

Leon got up off the ground & pointed at her, "Helena?"

"What do you want?"

". . . Why in hell are you dressed like that?"

"I'm meeting some friends to go Christmas shopping. You got a problem with that?" she pulled out a pocket knife.

Leon put his hands up, "Ah, no! Of coarse . . ."

With a flick of her wrist the knife, the knife was gone. She took out a toothpick & placed it in her mouth.

"But, um . . . May I . . . come?" Leon asked innocently with puppy dog eyes.

"Why?" Helena asked, glaring at him.

"To go shopping . . . too . . .?"

"Why?"

"Because I need to."

"Why?"

". . ." Leon was getting annoyed, "'Cause it's only _two_ days till Christmas & I haven't gone shopping yet!"

". . . What about the old geezer over there?" Helena nodded her head towards Gen Fu.

Helena, Leon, & the children, who were still there, waiting on their ball, turned to see Gen Fu reading the label on the back of his Libidoex. He looked up to see his audience, all with their eyebrow raised.

"What?!" he hid his medicine behind his back.

"Gen Fu, don't you wanna go Christmas shopping?" Leon asked.

"Yeah, we gotta hurry before there's nothing left," Helena added.

"Ha! Shopping! That's for untalented people! I make my own presents!" Gen Fu grinned a wide grin.

Helena & Leon looked at each other.

"Whatever," Helena began to walk off down the lawn with Leon running to catch up with her, "My ride will be here soon."

The six children stepped away to let the gothic woman onto the sidewalk. Just then the ground began to rumble from the sound of heavy metal music & raging engines. 

_What the . . .? _Leon thought.

Leon & the children watched with wide eyes as three motorcycles came speeding down the street towards the mansion. Helena patiently took out a cigarette, lit it, then began to smoke it. The motorcycles stopped with a loud screech in front of her. Three burly men were upon the motorcycles, each dressed in black with chains hanging from their clothes. Leon recognized them to be a couple of Bass's friends. He watched as Helena jumped on top of one of the motorcycles behind one of them then turned to him.

"Bitch, are you coming or not?!" she yelled at him.

Leon snapped out of his trance, "Oh, yeah!"

He ran & jumped on top of another motorcycle, but missed & fell off. The children & Gen Fu laughed as Helena & her newfound friends rolled their eyes. Leon picked himself up, dusted himself off, & got on the motorcycle slowly as if nothing happened.

The three motorcycles rolled off down the street with the sound of the engines raging once again.

As soon as they were out of sight, the six children turned back to Gen Fu. A sudden air of familiarity was amongst them as they glared through hate stricken eyes at Gen Fu. The neighborhood seemed to turn black with hatred & murder as Gen Fu glared back.

"Why don't you give our ball back, Gen Fu?" the children asked in unison as their eyes turned blood red.

"Why don't you come & take it?" Gen Fu said back with an evil smirk.

"We had a deal Gen Fu."

"Well, I just broke it."

"That same arrogance caused your master to fall!"

The six children shrieked & flipped into the lawn, landing in various fighting positions. Gen Fu did the same & landed in his own pose. After a long silence, the children shrieked once again & charged at Gen Fu. Gen Fu jumped into the air, but quickly came down to stomp upon one of the children. And thus, the fight persisted . . .

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in the DOA mansion's living room, seven pm . . .

"Check mate."

"What?"

"I said check mate. Take your man out."

"What?"

". . ."

"This guy?"

"No, the fat lady in the pig outfit."

"Oh."

Bayman slapped in forehead in frustration. He & Brad were in the corner of the room, playing chess on a small, wooden table. The room was lit by the fireplace, several lamps, & the chandelier above the room. Christie came in from the dining room & walked across the plush, burgundy carpet towards them. She grabbed a chair from near a couch, set it next to the chess board, & then sat down on it to watch them play. A smirk appeared on her face when she noticed Bayman's frustrated look & Brad's confused one. It was obvious what was going on.

"I don't see it," Brad said, scratching his head.

"Brad, do you really know how to play chess?"

"Of coarse, I do! It's just been a while . . ."

Bayman & Christie watched as Brad searched around the board with a finger on his chin, obviously thinking hard. Bayman rolled his eyes as he waited for him to take his piece off the board. He stretched & entwined his fingers behind his head.

"Bayman?" Brad began.

"Yeah?"

"Where's the fat lady in the pig outfit?"

"Up your ass."

Brad looked up at him & frowned, "It's not really on the board, is it?"

"Let's play something else."

Bayman hastily took the chess board off the table then started to shuffle some cards.

"Hey, Bayman, who do you have?" Christie asked.

"Why do you wanna know? It's not you," Bayman replied.

He stuck his tongue out at her & she did the same.

"I went out earlier & got Christie a gun & a fur coat!" Brad said smiling as if they were the best presents to give someone.

Bayman & Christie looked at him, confused.

_Well, at least I know who has me & what I got now, _Christie thought.

Christie turned to look at Bayman from Brad & they both held an invisible bottle to their faces.


	5. Chapter 5 Christmas Eve

Chapter 5 - Christmas Eve

"Yeah, I told that guy his fly was open, but I guess he couldn't hear me. All the little kids were pointin' & stuff."

Ayane was strolling around the dim mansion in purple pajamas that held a teddy bear with rosy cheeks & gleaming eyes plastered on the pajamas top. Her hair was ruffled, front & back & in her hand was a vanilla phone that she held to her ear. She grinned as she spoke to the person on the other end. Ayane strolled down the hallway with the white curtains swaying after she passed by, too consumed in her own conversation to notice Tina screaming & throwing objects at Zack from her bedroom or Leifang carefully placing a pencil under Jann Lee's nostril whilst he slept in his bed _or_ Ryu sneaking pastries from the refrigerator in the kitchen.

Ayane laughed, "Yeah, I think clowns are funny, too! Ha! . . . What? . . . I have the wrong number?"

_Boooop__ . . ._

"Oh . . . He hung up."

Ayane took the phone from her ear & ended the connection with a small press of a button. She continued to walk out of the kitchen then into the dining room where she stopped in her tracks as soon as her feet met the plush of the living room carpet.

_Helena__ . . . _Ayane thought to herself.

The singer was poised against the wall, staring out the frosted window with a mug of tea in her hands. She stood, one leg in front of the other with her frizzy hair hanging low over her white gown. She didn't notice the presence behind her. She was focused on the ever falling snow outside.

"Helena."

The icy tone turned her from the window to focus her attention on the purple clad teenager. Her face was visible now. Her banes, limp against her face & her eyes, weary from the morning.

"Ayane," she responded in a tired tone.

After realizing that Ayane was going to say anything back, but stare at her, she spoke up once again, "Would you like some thé? I made it myself."

"Some what?" Ayane asked, an eyebrow raised.

Helena spoke again, a hint of annoyance, "Some . . . tea . . . Ayane, child."

Ayane put her hands on her hips & gave Helena a suspicious look, "Is this another one of your tricks?"

"Tricks? What tricks? Ayane, please! I've grown out of my old ways. I don't dislike you enough to do that anymore."

_Is she serious? _Ayane asked herself.

She was desperate enough to try. Games were getting old & aggravating. The feud between the two had to end. Many times had they played childish pranks on each other, because of their hatred for one another.

Ayane carefully walked over to the tabletop where the teapot was settled on a red, green, & white Christmas mat. She kept her eyes on Helena's grin, watching as it grew wider & wider the further she reached out for the teapot. After pouring herself a cup, she sniffed its aroma to catch any signs of mischief.

"Smells good, huh?" Helena asked her with a wide smile, revealing her pearly whites.

A little too happy . . .

Despite this, Ayane took a sip of the tea then drew her head back down, searching for any oddities in the taste with her tongue.

"Tastes pretty good," Ayane said with a grin wider than Helena's.

"Yeah!"

"Yeah."

"Yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"Too bad I ran out of ingredients & had to make due with what lied around."

Helena sipped her tea, her dimples threatening to stretch her face in a grin as she peered out of the window.

"With what lied . . . _around?_" Ayane asked, her face turning paler than it already was.

"Yeah," Helena responded, "Behind the toilet, in the back of the cupboards, under the sinks, between Bass's sheets . . . You get the idea."

Ayane didn't dare look inside the cup, but unfortunately, had the urge to find out. Her face turned blue as she noticed what was inside: a few crickets, a spider, & a cockroach.

Helena laughed a high pitch laugh & pointed as Ayane screamed, cried, dropped the cup, hung her tongue out, & ran out of the room. Her distant wails were still heard from down the hall as Helena fell over, laughing as hard as she always had after a insane prank on the young girl.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in the basement of the DOA mansion . . .

A single light bulb swayed back & forth in the dark, spacious room, illuminated whatever got in the way of its light. The room reeked of the stale, cold scent of blood with a hint of chlorine. Various heaps of flesh & blood hanged from hooks on the ceiling, leaked onto the floor, creating the only sound throughout the room. The light swayed above a figure that hovered over a mass of fur in a white lab coat & cap.

It snapped on a pair of latex gloves & straightened its goggles & mask before calling out in a feminine voice, "Igor! . . . Igor, bring the knife!"

Shortly after the figure turned back to its 'patient', dragging against the tiled floor could be heard from afar, and making it's way towards the figure in white. Another one approached in a white lab coat from the darkness with an awkward hump in its back & the shiniest, bald head. In its hands was a knife with an enormous, rectangular blade resting on a small pillow.

"Knife, ma'am," the figure said, putting the pillow near the other's face.

"_Okay_, Igor!" the first figure said, taking the knife off the pillow & from it's nose, "Now go make sure Ms. Green doesn't get out of her cell."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Igor rushed from under the light, dragging his feet on the floor on the way.

"Where to begin?" the figure questioned to no one in particular as it ran the knife over the mass of brown, dead fur, "Ah! Here!"

The figure raised the knife above the mass & . . .

"Hitomi!"

The lights were switched on, sending a blinding light throughout the whole basement.

"Ah! My eyes! They burn!" Hitomi squealed as she dropped the knife in a clatter & pressed her gloved hands against her goggled eyes.

"Oh, there you are! What cha doin'?"

Hitomi removed her goggles to see who was speaking to her. She squinted until she could make out the figure at the top of the stairs. It was Jann Lee with his finger still on the light switch. He began to hop down the stairs until he was at Hitomi's side.

"Is that the deer you guys murdered?" Jann Lee asked, observing the deer with its tongue out on the slab.

Suddenly, Hitomi slapped him & grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"We didn't kill anybody!" she screamed in his face as his eyes grew wide.

They remained that way until Igor rushed into the scene.

"Ma'am Hitomi, Ms. Green spoke her first words! She said, 'Help me.'"

Igor crooked eyes gleamed as he remembered the 'special' incident.

"Okay, Igor, now just make sure she's not trying to eat her way through the wall again," Hitomi responded, grinning.

"Yes, ma'am!"

With that said, Igor rushed off again.

"What was that thing?" Jann Lee asked as Hitomi let go of him.

"Um . . . Uh . . ." Hitomi tried to figure out the best way to tell him, "I found him in the backyard . . ."

Jann Lee stared, blankly at her, "Oh . . . So how do you plan on butchering this thing?"

He nodded towards the deer.

"Oh, first," Hitomi began, "I'll sever his legs off, then his head, then I'll have to detach his thorax from his abdomen, then his tail, then I'd have to open him up & remove his insides for further use & then . . ."

She paused to watch Jann Lee draw his head back then brought forward in a loud, nasal sneeze, covering his mouth & nose with his hands. Hitomi watched him, mildly disgusted as he sniffed then took his hands from his face to reveal a writing utensil in his hands.

Jann Lee blushed at Hitomi's cringing face, "Excuse me."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in a closet in a room in the DOA mansion . . .

"Amazing grace! How sweet the sound! That saved the . . . a . . . something . . . like me! I once was lost! But now I'm found! And . . . something, something, something! Yeah!"

Kasumi sat in the middle of the walk-in closet, stretching, folding, tapping, & snipping colorful wraps of wrapping paper around white boxes. Upon her face, was the most cheerful grin that has ever landed upon her face. She wiped the sweat from her forehead & breathed a sigh of satisfaction as she observed her four boxes meant for that certain someone. Each with shiny wrappings of deer-bound sleighs, chubby santas munching on cookies with gleaming, red faces, & white Christmas trees with red & green balls & little snow angels.

"Best Christmas ever!" she grinned.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Afterwards . . .

Sneaking, lurking, creeping, scurrying. Kasumi was making her way to the living room that housed the mansion's heavily decorated with various Christmas ornaments Christmas tree. She peaked around the corner to the living room & spotted her destination. It was yards across the room. It reached high until the little snow angel touched the ceiling. Kasumi would have to make sure nobody saw her. Why?

_This is fun! _Kasumi thought with a wide grin, _I know!_

Before she could make her move towards the tree, making sure the presents didn't fall from her arms, Leon appeared, carrying a shaking & ice-covered Gen Fu in his arms. Helena was following behind, complaining to Gen Fu about his habit of playing with young kids.

As soon as they were out of sight, Kasumi took a step into the dining room that was connected to the living room.

"You broke your arm?!"

Kasumi stepped back into the darkness of the hallway as Tina came into the living room. She plopped down onto the couch as she talked on the phone.

"See? That's what you get for surfing in a restricted area! They don't put those signs there for nothing, you know. What?! You were the one complaining to me about your thong being too tight!"

A frown quickly crept to Kasumi's face as she grew impatient of waiting. She searched her surroundings for a distraction & caught sight of a rock lying in the middle of the hall behind her. She dropped her presents, picked up the rock, and then threw it towards the hall leading to the bedrooms. It made a clacker as it bounced off the walls then landed on the floor.

"What was that?" Tina asked herself as she quickly sat up, looking around for the cause of the noise.

Kasumi watched her lay back down, assuming it was nothing. She needed more distractions. She turned back around & saw a pile of rocks. She grabbed a couple in her hands & started throwing them towards the hallway. Tina popped up & off the couch. She gasped, frightened at the racket coming from the hall.

"Is somebody there?" Tina crept towards the hall, watching carefully for anyone.

"Shut up, Lisa! The blondes don't always die in scary movies!" she snapped into the phone, "It's nothing anyway."

Tina turned back around & walked back to the couch.

Kasumi needed to distract her some more. She took a rock & threw it towards the hall _again_. Tina heard the noise & swiftly turned around, hoping to catch whatever it was.

"Goddamnit! Is that you, Zack?!" Tina yelled into the hall.

Nothing . . .

"Stupid lil'-Agh!"

Kasumi's mouth formed a big O as she realized she had just pummeled Tina with a rock to the forehead, sending her to the carpet of the living room. And the wrestler didn't seem like she was going to get up soon.

_Just . . . walk away, _Kasumi suggested to herself.

She picked up her presents, ran over to the tree, placed them under it, & then ran back past the fallen blonde.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That night, on the roof of the DOA mansion . . .

Hayate grabbed onto the edge of the tiles & pulled himself up until he laid flat on his stomach atop of the roof.

"I made it! I win!" he said, out of breath, "Ryu's a loser!"

His body started to slowly slide back off on the ice & he frantically tried to claw his way back up on top of the tiles. He wailed when he suddenly slipped off the roof until a hand reached out & pulled him back up.

"What took you so long?" a voice asked above him.

Hayate knew who the voice belonged to & didn't want to look up to see & declare his defeat.

"I hate you, Ryu," Hayate stated with a frown.

"I know," Ryu said back, smiling, "Guess that means I win, eh?"

He grabbed his friend's hand with both of his gloved ones & Hayate grabbed his hands with his & Ryu began to pull him up onto the roof with him. As soon as the both of them were on the roof, they looked around the roof covered in snow, then at the stars that were up above them. Hayate shivered in his coat & he hugged himself to keep warm. And Ryu messed with his gloves then sharply looked around when he thought he heard a noise behind him.

Hayate looked over at Ryu, then at the roof, then at Ryu. Then at the roof.

"So what do we do now?" he finally asked.

This question bewildered his friend as he looked around, hoping something would come up in his head. He then started walking further onto the roof with his friend following behind, both walking carefully so they wouldn't slip in the snow.

"Ow! Get off of me!" someone screamed.

The two shinobies looked surprised as Ryu looked down & noticed he was stepping on something black.

"Oh, sorry about that!" Ryu took his foot off of the black leather, "Didn't see you there."

Christie sat up with snow falling off her body & face. She shook her hair, letting the snow fly out.

"What're you two nutcases doing here?" she asked them with a stern tone.

"Being bored," Hayate replied which wasn't what Ryu had in mind.

"What're _you_ doing here all in your lonesome?" he asked, making it sound as if she were a lonely individual.

And she noticed.

"I'm spending some _quiet_ time alone," she said back, "And you guys should, too."

She laid herself back down onto the icy roof, folding her arms across her chest. Ryu & Hayate looked at each other then plopped themselves down next to Christie. She growled at this. Her silence was disturbed by two, bored ninjas.

"Hey, look, a cat!" Hayate said, excitedly as he pointed at the stars that seemed to oddly form the face of a feline.

Ryu & Christie questioningly looked at him.

"C'mon, you guys, this is fun!" Hayate said once again after noticing the looks from the two, "Look, there's a duck next to it!"

Ryu & Christie looked up to see if there was a cat & a duck & strange enough, there was.

"And a moose!" Hayate called out once again, pointing, "What do you guys see?"

He turned to them. And they squinted as they studied the stars.

"I see . . ." Ryu began, "Kasumi . . ."

Hayate & Christie stared at him, wondering how he got Kasumi out of a bunch of dots.

"Um . . . okay," Hayate turned to look at the white-haired assassin, "What about you?"

"I really don't have time for this," she stated, annoyed.

"Aw, c'mon!"

"Don't you two have someone else to annoy?!"

Ryu & Hayate looked at each other, "No . . ."

". . . Well, fine!"

She squinted at the stars, trying to see if she could find something. Before she could make up a lie, she noticed a pack of stars that did actually resemble something.

Christie opened her mouth & said, "I see a guillotine."

Ryu & Hayate's face turned pale. Guess you could expect that from an assassin . . .

"Well, I see a . . . bear holding a beehive!" Hayate said, trying to forget it.

"And I see Kasumi hugging a teddy," Ryu said.

"And I see a man clutching his neck as the blood slowly flows out," Christie stated, ending the conversation.

Ryu & Hayate were silent as they both held faces of disgust.

"And look, there's someone with his intestines hanging out!" Christie laughed, pointing up at the stars, "This is fun!"

She had a wide grin on her face, now as Ryu & Hayate were close to heaving.

"Hey, you guys, look!" Christie said, excitedly, "A ma-"

"Say, I'm really hungry, Ryu!" Hayate said, quickly getting to his feet, "How about we _leave_ to get something to eat?!"

Ryu's face was blue, "No, I just about lost my appetite."


	6. Chapter 6 Christmas Day Part 1

_Journal Entry:_

_December 29, 2003___

_Oh my god . . . I finally feel like finishing that damned Christmas story I've been working on . . . Seems I can only type at night. I'm weird. I think I'm gonna update that Leifang fic, too. Blah, blah, blah . . ._

Sorry for these two parts of the last chapter being so late, but it's been difficult for me to write lately. I'm not taking honor classes anymore. EVER. I appreciate the reviews. Every last one of them. Even the flame cuz it makes me laugh when I look at it. Shame on me. ^_^

BTW, Hikari Kuu, who said I was pairing Ayane with Hayate? She can't say I love you to her brother? lol Heck, I would never pair them up O_O. People get the wrong idea. lol But then again, I've read that Ayane secretly admired Ein so . . . it makes you wonder . . . And to Wolf: Kasumi is mumbling random stuff, because I find it cute when she does. ^_^ So there!

Merry VERY LATE Christmas & a Happy New Year! Make resolutions! Mine is to quit drinking . . . Sike, I'm kidding. To work out more. That's just about it . . .

Chapter 6 - Christmas Day

Part 1 - Christmas Dinner

Christmas Day. A day a famous man clad in red & white is in the minds of many. A day loved by all whether they are atheists or not. Sometimes Christmas is too joyful to pass up.

Snow has fallen & frozen all, carols are sung in nasal voices from the cold, shops were out of stock, but quickly restock, pine trees were cut down to be decorated in glittering ornaments, & presents are given as a sense of appreciation towards a loved one.

Or a complete stranger.

Through the falling snow & ice, clinging to a window, a figure slept in its bed, moving about from side to side in an impatient sleep. It awoke with a start, its covers flying off the bed.

It announced with shock in its eyes, "Christmas!"

Kasumi jumped out of her bed, her night gown flying behind her as she ran out of her dim room & into the hallway. She had one goal on her mind & that was to open her presents. She knew for sure they would be there or else, her Secret Santa didn't have a heart.

She ran with heavy footsteps echoing through the hall. Her nose was starting to run from her quickness out of bed, but she sniffed it back up & continued to run with her frizzy, auburn hair, flying about her face until she reached the living room. She stopped to take in the view of the room. The lights on the tree glowed, creating a shining aura upon the tree. It lit up the whole room. The sight was blissful to the young girl as she made her way to the tree in quiet strides. As Kasumi got closer, various colors appeared in shapes under the tree.

_Presents . . . _Kasumi thought.

The tree was near empty when she placed her gifts under it yesterday. But now, there were more presents. Really big ones & really little ones. Kasumi smiled at this. It was truly going to be the best Christmas ever.

But alas, happiness has to end sometime. Kasumi was flung into the air by her leg. She squealed at the sudden action until she noticed she was being held upside-down from the ceiling by a rope tied to her leg. Her gown had flown above her head & tried frantically to keep it down with her hands so it wouldn't reveal anything.

"What is this?!" Kasumi screamed, angry she was disturbed from her moment & her gown wouldn't keep down.

Helena had rushed into the room after hearing the scream with Hitomi & Brad behind her.

"Help me!" Kasumi pleaded.

"Oh, sure!" a voice said near her, "Help you, but not me!"

Kasumi turned to look at an angry & red-faced Bass hanging upside-down from the ceiling next to her. He was clad in his nightwear as well to no surprise.

"That's what you two get for trying to open your presents before everyone else does," Hitomi stated with a smirk.

Sweet aromas were coming from the kitchen near the dining room & it was obvious she was cooking like she has every holiday. She folded her arms, her wooden spoon in her hand & turned around to head back into the kitchen.

"I wasn't trying to open my presents!" Kasumi flared.

Then a miserable look spread upon her face, "I was just gonna stare at them for a while . . ."

"Hey, Kasumi, your undies are showing," Brad stated.

"Nah, really?!" Kasumi screamed, sarcastically.

Helena sighed, "Well, Brad, help me take her down. I don't know why Bass bothered trying to sneak his presents. He won't find them there."

"What?! Get me down!" Bass exclaimed.

"You're too fat! Leon & Bayman aren't awake!" Brad said, pouting, "I'm not about to break a hip trying to get you down!"

"Just let me fall. I can take it. Ah!"

Helena had pulled out a pocket knife & cut a rope near a far wall, making Bass fall onto the hard floor. A small smirk was on her face as she watched him try to get up from his mangled state on the floor.

"Oh my goodness! Are you okay?!" the ever-caring shinobi asked as she hung.

"Hey, he said just let him fall," Helena shrugged.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A few hours later, in the kitchen . . .

Hitomi stood over the stove, stirring the dark soup in the tall, silver pot. She placed a lid on the pot, wiped her hands on her yellow apron, then made her way into the dining room where a confused Tina stood at the head of the table with her hands on her hips. Tina reached up & scratched her bandaged head that was from a mysterious incident yesterday as she thought long & hard about how "rich folk" set their tables.

_Does the knife go on the right side or the left?_ Tina asked herself, _Where__ does the napkin go? Under the plate? Why can't I remember these things?!_

Hitomi watched her from the entrance of the kitchen with her hands together in front of her, wondering when Tina was going to start moving again. The white table cloth seemed fine. So did the candles & plates. But the utensils & napkins were strangely out-of-place. They were on top of the plates, beside the plates, above the plates, under the plates . . .

"Tina, do you know what you're doing?" Hitomi asked after a minute of awkward silence.

"Sshh! You hear that?!" Tina asked her, raising a finger.

Hitomi stopped & listened.

"Silence," Tina stated, "Maintain it!"

Hitomi frowned & stalked off back into the kitchen, obviously knowing she wasn't wanted. She left Tina alone in the dining room with a hard look of concentration on her face.

Pots, pans, bowls, & cups of food & juices were scattered about the kitchen counters, all with delicious & sweet aromas flowing from them, filling the kitchen. Hitomi was use to smells like these. She wasn't growing hungry at all. But she did smile. They were going to love the dinner she prepared for them as always. Seeing them dig into the food, ignoring her questions about how good it is made her happy.

_Macaroni, deer, greens, soup, rice, fish, potatoes . . . Potatoes! Why aren't they back yet?! _Hitomi thought as she turned away from the dinner, placed her hands on her hips, & frowned.

She had sent Leifang, Jann Lee, & Hayate to run three blocks down the street to the grocery store to fetch a sack of potatoes they had run out of. And as if on cue, there was the sound of the front door flying open & staggering footsteps on the wooden floor along with heavy breathing & panting. Hitomi raised an eyebrow when they stumbled into the kitchen. Their coats, gloves, boots, & caps were covered in ice & they were shaking & breathing hysterically. Leifang had coat zipped up around her face & head with only her eyes showing & Jann Lee hugged himself & wiped the dried snot off of his face. Hitomi turned from them to look at Hayate who had outstretched his shaking arm, causing the ice to crack on his coat. In his hand was a sack of the desired potatoes.

"Oh, thanks!" Hitomi said with a smile as she tried to pry the sack from Hayate's frozen fingers.

When she did, she stated as they started to walk away in slow strides, "When I said run to the store, I didn't mean to _literally_ run, ya know."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That evening, in the dining room . . .

"Hey, I don't have a napkin!"

"Where's my fork?! Oh, here it is!"

"That's my spoon!"

"And that's my knife!"

"Ayane, you're sitting on my napkin."

"And you're sitting on my fork!"

"I was wondering what that was . . ."

"Hey, I have three knives."

"Dear God . . ."

"How many spoons are we suppose to have?"

"I'm confused!"

"Yeah, well, my head hurts so everyone just shut up!"

The attention was drawn to Tina who had slammed her hands onto the table & stood up from her chair. The fifteen fighters were seated at the dining room table, all staring at Tina.

"How hard is it?! If you have too much of something, give it to someone who doesn't. Plain & simple," Tina said with an annoyed look.

". . . If you had set the table right, this wouldn't be a problem," a voice whispered.

"What was that?!" Tina shot her head towards Ayane's direction.

"Nothin' . . ." Ayane frowned, looking down at her plate.

The fighters slowly began to search the table for what they needed, whispering so they wouldn't upset the blonde who sat near the head of the table beside her father. She was rubbing her temples. Kasumi noticed the bandage around her head.

"Tina?" she began to speak in a tiny voice.

"Yes, Kasumi?" Tina answered, slightly annoyed.

"I'm sure whoever did 'assault' you is very sorry," Kasumi stated, quoting the word "assault" with her fingers.

"I'm sure he is," Tina looked over at Zack.

"It wasn't _me_!" he said while taking a spoon from Christie.

"Tina, isn't your friend coming over?" Christie asked her.

"What friend?" Tina said, somewhat cocky, "I have a million of 'em."

"That African American girl from the beach."

"She was part African?" Leifang asked, bewildered, "How come they don't tell you these things?"

Everybody stared at her.

"Forget I said anything," Leifang said, turning red with embarrassment.

"Forgotten," everyone else at the table said in unison.

"Well, I dunno, Christie," Tina said, finally answering her question, "She said she was comin', but I doubt it. She's probably off gettin' drunk. What can I say? She loves to party."

"Why are you so interested?" Helena asked, curious.

Everybody suddenly drew their attention to the white-haired assassin.

"Heck, I was just wonderin'!" she stated, defending herself, "Can I wonder?"

"But it's not like you to worry about someone," Bayman joined in.

"Who's worrying?! What're you trying to say?!"

"Oh my god, Christie! Are you a lesbian?!" Ayane blurted out.

"What?!"

"And to think I share a room with you . . ." Ayane's face went pale.

"I knew she was a lesbian! In yo face, Helena!" Brad shouted, triumphantly sticking his finger in Helena's face.

"For Christ's sake, can we just say grace?!" Christie shouted through the noise that erupted from everyone's mouths & took Zack's & Ryu's hands in hers.

"Yes, let's let the lesbian say grace," Leon stated.

Everybody at the table except Kasumi who didn't understand & Hitomi laughed, making Christie's face turn red.

"I'm not a lesbian," Christie said, angry.

"Yeah, whatever," Leon said, dismissing her statement.

"Can we _please_ say grace," Hitomi ruined the fun with an annoyed look, "I made a wonderful dinner & I want you guys to enjoy it."

She waited for them to quiet down & regain their composure before she spoke again, "Now who wants to say grace?"

The table was silent as hands were held & eyes roamed from person to person, waiting for someone to speak up. Helena nudged Gen Fu who was rubbing his nose with his sleeve. He looked up to see everyone staring at him.

"Oh! Right!" Gen Fu finally realized the situation.

When he bowed his head, the others followed.

"Um . . ." he began, "Thank you, lord, for bringing us here today as the awkward family that we are. And, uh . . . We thank you for another Christmas-"

"Wonderful Christmas," Helena corrected him & continued to bow her head.

"Whatever . . . And, uh . . . What am I saying?! God is great, God is good! Thank you for the food!"

"Amen!" everybody at the table said in unison as they lifted their heads & proceeded to began eating.

Chatter erupted from the table as bowls were passed, food was cut to serve, & mouths were stuffed.

"Why do we go through this every holiday dinner?" Ryu whispered to Hayate who shrugged in response.

-----------------

I hope I didn't offend anyone during that lesbian part. I have nothing against homosexuals just so you know. N e way, last part coming up very soon. ^_^


	7. Chapter 6 Christmas Day Part 2

Chapter 6 - Christmas Day

Part 2 - What Santas Bring

The dining room was filled with the faint smell of food. The table held empty plates, all licked clean & platters with small residues of food still inside them along with pieces of bones. The fish were eaten clean off the bones, some chocked on. The deer was eaten in slices with only the three girls & Jann Lee knowing it was deer, & the vegetables & soup were eaten without any complaints. If you exclude Helena's statement about how potatoes make you fat . . .

The fighters were laid back in their chairs, enjoying the aftermath of their meal. They rubbed their bulging bellies & murmured to the person next them about random things, not bothering to speak much, because of their lack of energy. They burped, stretched & moaned, feeling as if their bellies were about to explode.

"Can we open the presents now?" Kasumi broke the silence.

"What you say?!" Jann Lee shot his head up from leaning it back on the chair, "Did somebody say something?"

"I said 'Can we open the presents now?'"

"What?!" Jann Lee asked again, louder than her.

"She said 'Can we open the presents?'!" a few of the others who were annoyed that the silence was broken bothered to say.

They were slowly falling asleep until Jann Lee's outburst.

"Isn't Helena in charge of the project?" Bayman asked, turning to Helena, "Can we open the damn presents now?"

Everybody else followed along saying "Yeah" or "Can we?" or "I wanna open my gift already," eager to see what they had gotten & who gave it to them.

"Well, I-" Helena began, but was cut off by Hitomi.

"Wait!" she screamed, making everyone who were close to falling asleep sit straight up in surprise, "What about dessert?!"

Hearing this, the fighters moaned & groaned, disapproving of eating anymore.

"Fine! You don't have to!" Hitomi pouted, crossing her arms, "I'll just eat the chocolate cheesecake by myself! . . . And I wasn't able to find the pastries anyway!"

"I'll help you eat the cheesecake, Hitomi," Ryu said, raising his hand a bit.

"Thanks, Hayabusa! How about after we open the presents?"

"Sure!"

Hitomi & Ryu exchanged smiles unaware of Kasumi's jealousy as she glared from one of them to the other. The thought of her so-called lover & some other girl alone in the kitchen, eating chocolaty cheesecake with the _same_ spoon, smiling at each other, smearing chocolate on each other's faces, laughing . . .

Kasumi had to do something about it. She scooted her back, grabbed the pad of paper, ripped a sheet off, grabbed a pen as well, scooted her chair back near the table & then began to frantically scribble on the paper, mumbling to herself. Leifang noticed this, along with everybody else, but they decided to ignore it. Instead, Leifang looked over her shoulder, trying to see what she was writing.

"What cha writin', Kas?" she asked.

"Get off my back, woman!" the shinobi flared then continued to write.

Leifang backed off with wide-eyes & a sort of startled grin.

Hayate raised his eyebrow at his sister's behavior, but then asked Helena, "Can we go now?"

"Sure, why not?" she responded as she slowly stood up from her chair, "I'm eager to find out myself."

Everybody at the table began to follow her, standing up from their chairs. They filed out of the dining room in quiet, but eager murmurs. Christie stayed at the table to finish drinking her soda then stood up from the table when she was done. She stopped when someone tapped her shoulder from behind.

"Huh?" she turned around & looked down to witness a wide grin plastered on a teenager's face, "Oh, it's you . . ."

"Hi, could you do me a favor?" Kasumi asked with her hands behind her back.

"What is it?" Christie replied, curious to what an innocent girl would want from an assassin such as herself.

"Give this to Hayabusa after you give him his present, okay?" Kasumi told her, grabbing her hand & placing a folded piece of paper inside.

Christie looked at the paper, confused.

"And don't look at it!" Kasumi commanded before storming off, sending her a death-glare before she entered the living with everybody else.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in the living room . . .

There was a big uproar as they picked up their presents & shook them to see what was inside. Some tried to pick up their presents, but unfortunately, they were too big. All the gifts were wrapped & had a tag, but the tag didn't include who it was from. So they were excited to see what they were given.

"Hey, Jann Lee, my present's bigger than yours!" Leifang bragged, pointing at the box she wasn't strong enough to pick up.

Jann Lee stood by her with his present in his hands. He looked down at his present from hers & realized it was in fact, smaller than hers.

"So!" he snapped, making Leifang laugh.

By the other side of the tree, Leon stood beside Bayman. He was looking down at the long box that had a small box on top of it. Both of the boxes were wrapped in brown camouflage.

"Firearm," he & Bayman stated in unison.

"Hey, mine's a picture for sure!" Hitomi said to Hayate, lifting up her present that was flat & wrapped.

She tapped on it to hear the glass click, but it came as a thump.

"A painting!" she stated, seeing it even better, "What about you, Hayate?"

Hayate was sitting on the couch with his box in his hands.

"Well," he began, "It's a box . . ."

"Aw, cool!" Hitomi exclaimed, "Do you know what you can do with a box?!"

". . ."

"You can throw rocks & grass in it!" Hitomi took his box away from him & pretended to throw things inside, "And look at that! You got a lil' _jungle_!"

Hitomi beamed as she held up his gift. Hayate stared at her with his mouth slightly ajar.

"Are you mocking me?" he queried.

But before Hitomi could respond, Helena stood atop of a stool & shouted to get everyone's attention.

"Excuse me! Quiet down for a moment!" she shouted, waving her arms.

After a few seconds, the fighters quieted down & turned their heads towards her.

"Could everyone step away from their presents?" Helena asked, with a smile on her face, pleased that the time they've all been waiting for has come, "We're gonna do this in age order. Older people open their presents first!"

"Wo hoo!" Gen Fu cheered, bouncing a bit.

Everyone frowned at him, jealous that he gets to open his first. But they still kept their presents near them as they stood or sat near the tree. Helena noticed the defiant looks upon their faces & her smile turned into a frown.

"I _said_, 'Step away from your presents,'" she repeated herself, hiding her anger.

Still they stayed, looking around at each other, wondering who was going to move first. Leon stood beside Helena with his hands on his hips. He decided to help his friend out, because well . . . who takes a woman as a threat these days?

"Step away from the presents or I _burn_ them!" Leon yelled, shaking his fist.

Everyone went wide-eyed, even Helena. They slowly slid or stepped away from their presents on the floor.

"Uh," Helena began with a sort of shaky voice, "Gen Fu, if you will."

Gen Fu popped up from his place on the couch between Jann Lee & Brad & sprinted over to the tree. On his face was a wide, rosy grin as he searched for his box & the others watching from the couch or floor, somewhat eager to see who gave him what. Gen Fu picked up a flat, rectangular, white box with a single blue ribbon tied around it in a bow.

"Say, who's it from?!" Leifang asked.

"Open present, find out later," Helena responded.

Gen Fu slowly slid the bow off the box, making sure he didn't damage it. Everybody waited for him to open it already & Bass looked at his watch. After a few more seconds of Gen Fu with his tongue sticking out of his mouth, eyes squinted, carefully taking the ribbon off, Leifang was growing impatient with everyone else. But she was the first to speak.

"Oh, for the love of God!" Leifang screamed.

Everybody watched in shock as she pounced onto Gen Fu, snatched his gift from him, & then proceeded to open it for him. As soon as the box was open, the ribbon was ripped apart, & Gen Fu had finally sat up, Leifang's eyes grew wide with admiration.

"What is it?!" Brad asked.

Gen Fu looked over her shoulder at what was in the box. Leifang held it up for everyone to see & it shown in white.

"A kimono?!" Ayane said.

"And look! It even comes with a matching corset!" Leifang said holding up the kimono & corset.

There was silence as everyone sat or stood with blank faces, wondering if he had gotten the wrong gift. They finally fixed their faces & looked over towards Helena who still held hers. She noticed the faces staring at her, waiting for her to fix the 'problem.' She straightened her face & when she was about to speak, Bass cut her off.

"I know you don't have to thank me!" Bass laughed, startling everyone, "I know how you Chinese _love_ kimonos! I even threw that corset in, because . . ."

He bent down to whisper into Gen Fu's ear, "ya know how the ladies don't like the jelly belly."

He stood straight back up & laughed, "Ha! Ho!"

Leifang stared at Gen Fu who was a little confused. She then looked over at Bass who was grinning ear to ear.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiight . . ." Jann Lee spoke up, then sipped the tea he had brought with him from the table.

"Did anyone see a point run by here?" Bayman asked, "'Cause I missed it."

"Well, anyway, who's next?!" Helena chirped.

"That would be me!" Bass cheered, "I'm next!"

"Um. Okay."

"Not you!" Bass pointed his finger in Ryu's face then back at himself, "Me! Ha!"

He stood there with a grin on his face & his hands on his hips as he looked from face to face to face. Then his smile slowly started to fade when he noticed they just stared back at him.

"Are you gonna open your presents or what?" Tina asked.

"I would, but a certain _someone_ claimed they weren't _under_ the tree," Bass said, eyeing Helena.

"Huh? Oh, yeah!" Helena said, "Just follow me & you'll get it!"

Helena hopped off the stool & the others got up & followed, wondering what she could have given him. They followed her through the house until they reached the garage door. Helena placed her hand upon the door then turned back to look at Bass.

"Close your eyes!" Helena said, grinning.

Bass impatiently covered his eyes with his hand. When Helena opened the garage door, the others crowded around the door, eager to see. She flicked on the light & all of the fighters except Bass who had his eyes covered froze. They stared at the horrid sight in front of them as Bass shifted around, impatiently. Across the pavement of the garage, pieces of black, shiny metal & rubber laid scattered on the floor. The metal was bend & broken & the rubber was in shreds. Four handlebars could be seen lying on the floor along with a couple of headlights & exhaust silencers. Two gadgets within the rubbish fizzed then kept repeating profanity over & over again.

The fifteen fighters stood in silence with their mouths open.

"What is it?!" Bass asked before he uncovered his eyes.

His eyes grew wide along with the others when he saw what remained of his beloved motorcycles.

"This is your idea of a Christmas present?!" Bass flared as he picked up Helena & shook her.

"Wait! Wait!!" Helena screamed until Bass stopped, "I didn't do this! I bought you a . . ."

Helena had turned her head towards the remains of the motorcycles when she witnessed her Christmas present from her to Bass came into view. The others looked also. The engine roared as it wheeled itself out from the darkness of the far side of the garage & into the light. Its black, massive exterior gleamed in the light as it stopped, facing the door where the fighters stood, staring.

Bass dropped Helena, who surprisingly landed onto her feet.

"Helena?" Bass began.

"Yes, Bass?" Helena answered.

"Who did you buy that motorcycle from?"

"Well, this man at the Marley Havidson shop offered to install the ultimate security system into the motorcycle & uh . . ."

"You mean the hyperactive security system psycho?"

". . ."

The motorcycle roared its engines it started to slowly wheel itself towards the door.

"Close the door," Leon said with wide eyes, "Close the door!"

Helena fidgeted with the doorknob, before she finally grabbed hold of it, shaking. The others screamed for her to close the door as the motorcycle threw itself in high speed towards them, its engines roared, making Kasumi, Leifang, & Zack wail & run away in terror.

"Close the door!" Bass screamed.

When Helena swung the door to close it, it bounced off the side of her head.

"Ow, my head," she said before blacking out onto the floor.

Hayate & Tina dragged her from near the doorway, as the more not-so-clumsy fighters closed the door & leaned against it. The motorcycle rammed into it, making them stumble back a bit. As Bass, Leon, & Bayman held the door the others, excluding Hayate & Tina who attended to Helena, ran to collect some furniture to put against the door. When the door was blocked with various, large pieces of furniture, no matter how hard the motorcycle rammed into it, it couldn't get through.

"Phew!" the fighters said, wiping the sweat from their foreheads in relief.

Kasumi, Leifang, & Zack peeked from around the corner to see what had happened.

"Scariest Christmas _ever!_" Kasumi exclaimed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back into the living room of the DOA mansion . . .

"Well, since, Helena's not able to conduct I guess I'll just do it," Hitomi said.

"Nuh uh!" Ayane protested, "You conducted the dinner! I'll do the presents!"

"Fine, whatever."

"So who's the old fart who has to go next, huh?!"

"Th-that's me," Leon stated.

"Oh, really? Hold that thought!"

Ayane ran out of the room & down the hall, away from the others seated in the living room. Leifang fanned Helena as she lay unconscious across her, Tina's & Christie's laps. Bass sat in the corner of the room on a stool, staring off into space. And Gen Fu had put on his corset & was trying to tighten it up with Brad's help in another corner of the room.

"Am I old?" Leon whispered to Bayman who sat beside him.

Footsteps along with trotting could be heard coming back down the hall. The fighters turned to see except Bass & Helena. An excited Ayane along with a tall camel came from the hall. The camel was chewing on a piece of hay. Saliva dripped from its jaw as it chewed.

"Ew! A camel!" Hayate said in disgust.

"Oo! A camel!" Leon said with excitement.

He jumped up off the couch & ran over to the mammal.

"I shall call you Rolande," Leon stated before he hugged the camel's neck, making it choke on the hay it was trying to swallow.

"Is that what I was smelling?!" Christie queried Ayane.

Ayane scratched her head, "Yeah, I hadn't gotten around to cleaning the dung yet."

All who heard cringed in disgust.

"Hey, Leon, that's not all of it!" Ayane said, tapping Leon on the shoulder, "Open the presents by the tree!"

Leon turned around to follow Ayane back by the tree, leaving the camel to cough.

"Open the big one first!" Ayane told him.

Leon knelt down as the others watched from over his shoulder. He placed the smaller box aside to rip open the larger, longer box.

"Firearm!" Bayman pointed, "I knew it!"

Ayane grinned as Leon held up the bazooka from the box.

"Neat!" Leon said as he held it on his shoulder, pointing it at the others.

"Now, open the little box!" Ayane said.

Leon set the bazooka down, ripped apart the little box, & pulled out a camera. He stared at it, disbelieving that it was what he got. But Ayane was grinning . . .

"Now you can ride your camel in that vast wasteland you call a desert, blow up some people, & take pictures of their dead, disfigured bodies for me!" Ayane exclaimed with stars in her eyes, "Isn't that great?!"

The fighters were silent as Leon sat there staring at Ayane's grinning face in disbelief.

"Alright, Tina, you're next!" Ayane said.

"No, I'm not," Tina replied, confused.

"Wait! That was an insult!" Tina flared with her hands on her hips.

Ayane laughed out loud as Tina glared at her.

"Calm down! I'm just playin'," Ayane said then gestured with her thumb for Bayman to get up, "C'mon, Bayman!"

Bayman had gotten up, but before he could reach his present, Hitomi had snatched it up & held it against her chest, "Promise me you'll like it!"

". . . Huh?!" Bayman said, confused.

"Promise me you'll like it!"

"What?! Give it here!"

"No! Promise me!"

"I said '_Give it!_'"

"No!"

Bayman attempted to pry the box from her grasp as she screamed & wailed. The others watched, sort of excited to see a fight & sort of confused on why Hitomi still attempted to hold onto the box against a big man such as Bayman.

Bayman had finally flung Hitomi off the box, making her fall face-first onto the carpet.

"Now, let's see what we got here," Bayman said, ripping the blue sky wrapping paper off the box then opening it.

He let the pieces of the box drop to the floor & held up the orange camouflage shirt & pants.

"What the hell?" Bayman said, "They actually make orange camouflage?!"

The others stared at it also, some holding back their laughter.

"You don't like it?" Hitomi asked with her head turned towards him.

Her eyes filled up with tears.

"I don't even like orange!" Bayman said.

_Oops_, Tina thought to herself as she watched what was happening.

"No!" Hitomi wailed & began to cry, as she kicked & pounded the carpet, "My life is _ruined!_"

"Don't cry, Hitomi," Ryu told her, patting her on the back, making her calm down a bit, "Chocolate cheesecake makes it all better."

"You're right," Hitomi sniffed, "It does."

Hearing this made Ryu smile, but Kasumi angry. She turned towards Christie & pointed at her from across the room, reminding her of her favor.

"So!" Ayane broke the growing silence, "Who's the next sucker?"

"Brad! That would be Brad!" Hayate frantically pointed at Brad, "Brad's the sucker!"

Everyone stared over at Brad who had shrunk into his seat.

"You heard the man," Ayane said.

"Alrighty," Brad said, walking over to the tree.

He searched around for his gift & when he found it, he picked it up & shook it.

"Open it!" Hayate screamed, startling everyone with his excitement.

Brad did what he was told. When he opened it, he found inside a white shirt along with a white & red kilt with a sporran attached to it.

"Uh . . ." Brad began.

He was speechless.

"Did you give him that?!" Jann Lee asked Hayate.

Hearing this, everyone turned towards him. His eyes looked across the many faces.

"What?!" he began, "I have my fantasies!"

He then crossed his arms & looked away from the others, angry. Brad blushed bright red at the sudden the word 'fantasies.' He then slowly made his way back to his seat on the armchair. Ryu crawled across the floor to Hayate & hit him on the knee to get his attention.

"I thought you said you were gonna give him alcohol & butterflies!" he said.

"Yeah, but I didn't wanna be so obvious!" Hayate replied.

"So who's the next person?" Ayane asked.

She looked over at what everybody else was staring at & saw Zack already digging through the presents.

"God damn it, Zack, wait till I call you!" Ayane flared.

"Too late!" Zack held up a little red box.

Hitomi whispered to Leifang as she watched Zack shake his gift, "Leifang, I thought you bought him clothes."

"I did," Leifang answered, "but I burned them."

". . ."

"I didn't think that clothes were the best thing to give him. I decided to give him something that he actually needed."

"Charisma for Dummies?!" Zack blurted out in disbelief.

In his hands, was a black & yellow book with those words imprinted at the top. Snickering could be heard from the others that soon grew into laughter.

"Shut up!" Zack flared, "S'not funny . . ."

He sat back down near the foot of one of the couches with his book in his hands. He squeezed his knees against his chest & looked away from the others as their laughter slowly died down.

"Christie, you're next," Ayane stated.

The assassin got up & stretched.

"Any day now," Ayane said impatiently, "It's bad enough that I have to go last, ya know."

Christie sighed.

"God damn it, Christie!" Ayane screamed.

"Alright!" Christie said before going near the tree to look for her presents.

"I swear! You grown-ups are so immature!"

After Christie looked around the tree & behind it over & over again, Ayane was growing impatient, "Christie!"

"I can't find it!" Christie said back before turning towards Brad, "Brad, where is the gun & fur coat you promised me?!"

Brad popped his head up at the mention of his name & noticed Christie by the tree, frowning, "Oh, you're up already?"

He stood up, "You won't find it there, 'cause I lied!"

"What?" Christie said.

"Ha! You assassins are so gullible! I pretended to be drunk & offered to play chess with Bayman, 'cause I knew you would eventually find him! You've been following him around a lot lately, ya know! I'm surprised you didn't watch him while he slept!"

Everyone gasped including Helena who had finally woke. But Bass was still staring off into space, mourning over the loss his motorcycles.

Christie was red, "I do _not_ follow him around! I'm surprised you would even think that considering the fact that you thought I was a lesbian!"

"Think," Brad corrected her.

"Whatever."

"Well, when you eventually found him, I decided to make up a lie so you wouldn't know what I _really_ got you! And you'd be surprised!"

"Well, what did you really get me?!"

". . ."

Brad held up his index finger, telling her to give him a second. Christie & the others watched as he then reached into his pocket & pulled out a little, white card. He handed it to a confused Christie who took it & read it.

"Annie Houston. Psychologist," Christie read out loud, "It's never too late to become a better person . . ."

A couple of the fighters snickered, trying to keep in their laughter. Christie? Become a better person? It didn't seem possible.

"She's helped me through so much," Brad said, near tears, "My addiction to alcohol is no more! I've even joined the Big Brothers, Big Sisters club to stop children from becoming the raging alcoholic I once was!"

Brad fell onto Christie, crying with joy. She patted his back while rolling her eyes.

"Aw, that is so sweet!" Leifang said with the other girls except Ayane pitching in.

"Say, what's going on?" Helena queried with a grin.

"Ryu has to open his present now," Ayane said, grinning at the mention of her brother's best friend.

"Oh, I'm next!" Ryu said, getting up & passing Brad & Christie who had gone to sit down.

"Jesus, we're not done yet?" Helena whispered to herself.

When Kasumi witnessed Ryu search for his presents, she looked over towards Christie who looked back. Kasumi nodded her head over at him, reminding her once again of her favor.

Ryu finally picked up his present. It was wrapped in shiny, gray wrapping & was shaped like a cylinder. Ryu held it towards his face, but instead of shaking it for the suspense like every normal person, he sniffed it & took in its vanilla scent. The others stared at him, cringing from his unusual behavior. They watched as he ripped apart the wrapping to reveal a vanilla ice cream cake with chocolate chip cookies on the top. The others awed at the sight of the white cake, but Ryu drooled. Suddenly he ripped off the top that kept him from reaching his beloved cake & dug his fingers into, pulling out chunks of cake & stuffing his face with it. The others stared until he finally noticed.

"Uh," he began with a cream covered face, "Thanks . . .?"

Hayate slapped his forehead.

_How is he suppose to lose weight if he keeps eating like this?_ he thought.


	8. Chapter 6 Christmas Day Part 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the song in this chapter. System of a Down does.

Ack, I'm lazy. So I decided to skip some parts. ::shifty eyes:: Okay, alot of parts. I had to cut it short to fit stuff in.

Enjoy the last part!

Chapter 6 - Christmas Day

Part 3 - Storm

The sky was dark & the wind was fierce. It whistled as it tossed the falling hail into the trees, road, & whatever was in the way. The deserted road was white with ice. The trees along side of it were drooping from the wind & hail. The leaves & branches broke off & was carried off by the wind. But despite this storm, a single red car was making its way through it. Icicles were hanging off the side mirrors, antenna, & bumpers & small dents from the hail could be seen on the exterior.

"Do you know where you're going?"

"Of coarse I do! I think I should know where my best friend lives!"

"But the storm is getting worse!"

"Big deal! I fought waves as big as skyscrapers! This storm is nothing!"

There was a loud snap & a large branch fell from above onto the middle of the road. The car skid off the road avoiding the branch, but rammed into the clutter of trees in a loud crash. Smoke soon emitted from under the hood.

". . . Great! Now we have to walk!"

"Hold on, let me grab the E.&J. Gallo."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in the living room of the DOA mansion . . .

Ryu had taken his seat beside Christie who had pushed Helena off the couch so he could sit down. Kasumi saw this happening & pointed at Christie, reminding her for the third time about her note to him. Christie glared at her. She was getting tired of being reminded.

Ryu sat down licking his fingers as he held the container of cake in his arms. He looked over at Christie who was giving him a grin. He looked from her to his cake, to her to his cake, & back at her again.

"You gave me this?" he asked her with a sort of shaky voice.

It was often Christie smiled like that. And he was feeling really awkward.

_What does this woman want from me?! _he thought.

"Yes & the redhead across the room wanted me to give you this also," Christie said, putting the piece of paper into his face.

Ryu reached out with sticky fingers & took the paper. He tried to open the fold as Helena & Ayane were fighting over a couch cushion by the tree. Christie watched as he opened it & continued to read it. He muttered a couple of words then a confused look was placed upon his face. He pointed at a word & showed it to Christie who rolled her eyes, but looked anyway.

"Cheese," she told him.

Ryu gave an 'oh' sort of look before he continued to read some more. When he reached the end of the note, he folded it back up, after prying it from his sticky fingers, & stuck it in his pocket. Kasumi stared from her seat on the armrest of one of the couches. Christie looked over at her & shrugged.

_Was he suppose to do something? _she thought.

"Mine!"

Everybody either laughed or yelled in shock when Helena shoved Ayane with her foot, making her lose her grasp of the cushion & fall back onto the carpet.

"What is this?! The third fight today?!" Brad exclaimed.

"I got the pillow! Now I'm in charge!" Helena said then proceeded to laugh in the young girl's face.

Tears started to form in Ayane's eyes. She had had enough of being humiliated by the singer.

"Why are you so mean to me?!" she cried with tears falling down her face.

"'Cause you killed my mother, you demented child!" Helena screamed.

Everybody gasped in surprise. Ayane _killed_ her mother? When did this happen?

"Did not!" Ayane screamed back, "She tripped on her dress & her brain just happened to splatter all over the stage!"

The argument between the two went on as Tina went over to tap Hayate on the shoulder.

"Are you gonna open your presents now?" she asked him.

"Oh! Oh, yeah!" he said back.

Hayate hopped off his seat & made his way over to the tree, passing Helena who was pulling Ayane's hair while Leon & Bayman tried to pull them apart. 

Ayane witnessed him pick up is gift & shouted, "Wait! Wait!!"

Everybody froze & turned towards her.

"My dear Hayate is opening his gift," Ayane stated with stars in her eyes.

Thirty eyes & a spotlight shot over at Hayate by the tree. He jumped out of surprise & clutched his gift. Helena had let go of Ayane's hair. Seeing this, Ayane tripped her, making her fall on her face. She then scurried out of reach, laughing mischievously.

"Grow up, Ayane!" Helena screamed, picking her face off the carpet.

"You first!" Ayane screamed back.

"Sshh!!"

Everybody looked around to see who had spoken, but realized they were all searching for that person. Until finally, they turned their heads back to look at Rolande standing in the dining room, staring back them. They turned back around.

"Nah!" they all exclaimed with grins on their faces.

Camels can't talk.

"Well, Hayate, are you gonna stand there like a deer caught in headlights or are you gonna open your present?!" Tina questioned him with a wide grin.

"Could you," Hayate began, shielding his eyes from the spotlight's bright light, "kinda . . . turn that thing off? It's burning my eyes & my fragile skin."

"It's true. Nii-san burns easily," Kasumi added, raising a finger, "He melted when we went to the beach & we had to carry him home in our soda cans."

Everybody turned to look at her with a confused look. Hayate _melted? _Even Hayate was staring at her. He didn't remember turning to liquid ever in his life.

"No, wait, that was a dream," Kasumi laughed, "Bwahaha!"

"Reminder to self," Hitomi wrote on the palm of her hand with a pen, "Tell Kasumi she's weird."

"So Hayate, how 'bout that present?!" Tina said, startling Hayate & everybody else.

The spotlight shut off with a loud click. Once again everybody looked behind them at Rolande. She was still standing, staring back at them. So they turned back around & let it go. Camels don't know how to work spotlights, right?

Hayate began ripping off the wrapping, only to find a white box. Just when Hayate was about to open the box, there was a loud crash as the lights flickered then cut off in an instant. Shrieks of terror filled the room along with thudding of footsteps & shattering of glasses. A deep voice yelled through the dark, but couldn't compare to the ear-piercing shrieks. So it yelled louder.

"Shut up!!" it shouted, causing the shrieks to cease, "Whoever that was . . ."

"Sorry," another voice said.

"Somebody has their hands on my tits," a feminine voice spoke up.

There was a short pause then a loud smack was heard, causing a few gasps of shock.

"What was that?!" a voice queried.

"Zack had his hands on my tits!" the feminine voice spoke again.

"That wasn't me!" said a different voice.

There was an awkward pause until a series of voices spoke up.

"What happened to the lights?"

"I don't know."

"Jann Lee, you feel like dancin'?! 'Cause I feel like dancin'!!"

"No, Leifang."

"Ew! I just touched something wet!"

"You poked me in my eye, you ninny!!"

A tiny spark appeared amidst the dark then flurried into a tiny flame, painting an agitated face a pale orange.

"Is everybody okay?" Leon asked in the direction he thought his friends were in whilst he held up a match.

"Of coarse, I'm not okay! Somebody poked my eye out!!"

"And somebody stole my ice cream cake!!"

"Flashlight!"

A beam of bright, white light flashed into the living room, burning the eyes that had gone accustomed to the momentary darkness. Light, dark, pale, & tan hands shielded their eyes from the light. Ayane was seen through the light, crawling around on the floor, with one hand covering her eye & the other searching on the carpet. Leifang was standing by the tree, having a seizure. Oh, excuse me, dancing I mean . . . Brad was sniffing his finger, but quickly pulled it away from his face when the light was on him. Bass was still seated on the stool in a subconscious state. Tina was as far away as possible, across the room, shielding her breasts with an embarrassed blush upon her face. And Gen Fu was at the other end of the room with a mischievous grin evident on his face.

Kasumi flashed the light back at Ayane on the floor when she stuck her hand into a mess of white icing & cookies upon the carpet.

"Aw, son of a monkey!!" Ayane cursed.

"My ice cream cake!" Ryu wailed, but then realized it was a mess on the floor & scratched his head, "But it's kinda dirty now. I don't think I want to eat it."

"What?!" Christie flared & stuck her finger in Ryu's face, "I spent a dollar ninety-nine at Wal-Mart for that cake!!"

"Where's Hayate?" Kasumi asked, flashing the light around in search of her brother.

"I'm here," Hayate began, but was cut short when Leon had shook the match to put it out & caused his gift to catch on fire.

He & Leon wailed as the flammable items burst into a mass of flames & Hayate dropped them onto the floor. Seeing this, everybody screamed & ran around in circles, which didn't help stop the fire at all. Bayman, Gen Fu, Jann Lee, & Leon stomped around on the flames, trying desperately to put it out. It soon became a round of dosie-doe as Jann Lee grabbed hold of Leon's arm & the two dosie-doed around on the flames with ecstatic grins on their faces. They stepped out & allowed Bayman & Gen Fu have a turn until the flames finally died (A/N: Well, that was weird . . .). The others stopped screaming & running around except Leifang, who was getting a kick out of it. Her fun ended when she bumped into Christie's back & fell back onto the floor. Kasumi shined the flashlight into the four men's direction then at the pile of dust on the carpet.

"My present!!" Hayate gasped at what remained of his present.

"His present!!" Tina gasped also.

"Two hundred bucks down the drain," Hitomi stated.

"What was it anyway?" Zack asked.

Hayate paused for a few seconds.

"I don't know," he said.

"It was tight leather clothing & hair spray!!" Tina answered.

Everyone grew silent at her response. Hayate realized he was too close to her (across the room) & stepped farther away.

"I have my fantasies, too, ya know!" Tina said.

She then turned her back on the others, crossed her arms, & began to pout.

Bayman leaned over to Gen Fu, "If there was hair spray, wouldn't we have blown to bits?"

"Thank the author for being young & stupid," Gen Fu responded with a grin.

"Eh?"

"The woman stuck a hamburger wrapped in _foil_ in the microwave!"

". . . Who is this author you speak of?"

". . . Never mind."

"Well," Helena began after realizing she's been silent for too long, "It seems there's a snow storm raging outside. It must have caused the power outage." 

Everybody ran to the windows to catch a view of the storm outside. The shorter people jumped up & down to see over the taller people who blocked the windows. It was dark & flurries of white hail sailed through the air, falling hard onto the ground. Some even cracked the pavement, broke garden ornaments, & smashed flowers into the ground.

A ball of hail flew its way towards one of the windows, cracking it on impact. The fighters near the window wailed out of surprise. The curtains were shut & the windows were abandoned.

"Dear god, a giant hail ball is gonna fall on us & we're gonna blow up & die!" Brad said, hysteria in his voice, "I gotta get outta here!"

There were heavy footsteps heard then a thud.

"Flashlight?" Kasumi queried, shining the light on Brad's surprised & bruised face.

He was holding his nose & leaning against a wall that had a large dent in it.

"Kasumi, could you flash the light in my way, please?" Helena asked.

Kasumi shined the light in Helena's face, making her flinch. When Helena was about to speak, Kasumi clicked the flashlight off.

"Kasumi!" Helena said, slightly annoyed.

"It seems my finger has slipped," Kasumi replied, sarcastically & clicked the light on once again.

"Now," Helena began again.

_Click!_

"Kasumi!" Helena screamed.

A burst of laughter emitted from the young girl as she clicked the light back on again.

"Okay, okay, I'm done," Kasumi said after she had calmed down from her laughter.

Helena was slightly turning red from anger. She raised a finger & opened her mouth to speak again when Kasumi immediately clicked the light off. Then on. Then off. Then on. Then off.

Kasumi was laughing a loud & unruly laugh as she flicked the light on & off on a very annoyed Helena. A hand came up behind Kasumi & smacked her on her head, causing her to cry out in pain. The light flicked on as Kasumi rubbed her head with an angry brother standing beside her.

"Now," Helena began again, seeing that Kasumi wasn't to going to try anything soon, "we need to find our flashlights, candles, & matches so we can have some light. We'll have to light up the fireplace, also."

"Behold!" Kasumi shouted, startling everybody.

She ran towards the fireplace & held her flashlight up in the air, "With this flashlight, I shall make fy-yah!"

She then proceeded to flash the light onto the logs in the fireplace. The fighters watched as she stood there by the fireplace, wondering if the "fire" was going to erupt soon. But it didn't seem that way, so Leon lit another match & filed out of the room with the others, leaving the shinobi alone in the living room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

An hour later . . .

Sets of candles sat on tabletops & on top of the fireplace, lighting up the living room. The fighters were seated on the couches & standing in the corners of the room, talking amongst each other about whatever came to mind.

The last bit of presents was disputed earlier. Tina had received a Christmas gift from the passionate fighter, Jann Lee. A red bathing suit . . . in the winter . . . And his response from her delighted thank you was: "Don't thank me, just take it!"

Helena had gone next as Leon looked on with crossed fingers. The Mona Lisa. Of coarse, it's good to give a woman what they always wanted to have. Maybe stealing isn't so bad . . . Helena didn't seem to care . . . or notice.

Jann Lee had stepped up after that to receive his present. Strawberry pie with a questionable bite mark in its side . . . But that didn't stop the fighter from sticking his finger in the pie & getting a taste.

It was Leifang's turn after that. What would Zack give a girl like Leifang? A karaoke machine, of coarse. Maybe Zack wasn't such a pervert after all.

"Chinese people love to sing, right?" Zack had asked Bayman.

Sure thing, Leifang had run off in search of a generator & hadn't come back since.

Hitomi had opened her present without any wait. It was in fact a painting & Gen Fu had grinned when she realized who it was. It was her, sleeping in her bed, covers falling off the bed, & mouth ajar.

"How else was I suppose to get a portrait of you without you finding out?!" Gen Fu had defended himself when a bright red Hitomi had pointed out the embarrassment of it all.

Her undergarments had been showing at the time . . .

Kasumi had received a machine gun from Bayman, shocking everyone. Hayate had protested & suggested that he give his young sister a "womanly" gift. So Bayman gave the shinobi tampons instead.

And last, Ayane was to go. And she knew her only sister did not give a gift. Expecting the worse, Ayane opened one of her presents. Inside, in dark purple, were a dress & a pair of high heels with shimmering laces. Ayane had gawked at her gift, disbelieving the person she hated most in the world had gotten her something so beautiful. Instantly, Ayane burst into tears & threw herself onto her sister. Everybody had awed at the gesture. The two sisters were hugging. But unfortunately for Kasumi, Ayane had caught a glimpse of the white price tag, hanging off the dress that Kasumi forgot to remove: $29.99 . . .

So the present was denied, leaving a confused Kasumi with her receipt.

But despite the dysfunctional celebration, the fighters knew Christmas was coming to an end . . .

"I know she wants me," Gen Fu stated, eyeing the young brunette that was seated at the dining table with a single candle as light, "I can _feel_ it!"

Bayman & Leon looked at each other from Gen Fu then at Hitomi who was engulfing spoonfuls of cheesecake.

Zack & Tina were across the room, standing in front Bass.

"Bass, wake up!" Zack shouted at the subconscious Bass.

He snapped his fingers & flashed the flashlight in the big man's face, but he did not reply. Unless you call a sap of drool running down his jaw replying.

Tina pushed Zack out of the way & shouted, "Daddy, I fell off my bike & busted my face!"

Still Bass sat.

"The world's ending!" Zack shouted, trying desperately to wake his friend up.

"I ate your chicken!" Tina screamed, turning red.

The two waited for a response from Bass, but still he sat. So they took turns . . .

"I hate you, Bass!"

"Ryu hates you!"

"I think you're fat!"

"Leon said you were ugly!"

"I'm wearing your underwear!"

"Leifang stole fifty dollars from your wallet!"

"I impregnated your daughter!"

". . ."

Just then, as if it were a miracle, Bass reached out & grabbed Zack by the collar. Zack wiggled as best he could, but couldn't get out of Bass's tight grasp. Tina just watched with wide eyes as Bass pulled Zack face to face.

"You did what?" Bass queried with a scowl.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in the yard of the DOA mansion . . .

Two figures were running through the snow, yelling in pain as the hail showered down on them. They were making their way towards the porch of the DOA mansion. One of them fell into the snow & stayed there until the other picked it up & carried it onto the porch.

"Right, this is the place," the fallen figure said in drunken slurs.

It reached out & clumsily smacked its hand into the doorbell. The bell rang throughout the mansion. The door opened, revealing Brad. He stared at the two ice-covered figures. Two women. One had pale skin, green eyes, & red hair & wore a pink skirt with a matching pink sweater & high heels. The other was dark-skinned with brown hair & brown eyes. She wore a black miniskirt along with a red tank top, combat boots, & a cast around one of her arms. Her bright, red lipstick was smeared across her face to her cheek.

Irene shook the ice off her clothes before she began to speak, "We're here for the celebration."

"And for more E.&J. Gallo," Lisa added drunkenly, shaking an empty wine bottle in his face.

Irene rolled her eyes hopelessly as Lisa pushed her way past Brad & stumbled into the living room. Twenty-four eyes shot over at the door to look at her. She noticed the many people & stood up straight as best she could.

"Wassup!" Lisa shouted with a wide grin.

_Party time! _Lisa thought.

She stopped & stared at a brunet behind the group who was fighting off a camel as it tried to bite at his hair. The camel grabbed hold of his head with its mouth & dragged the brunet off, kicking & screaming muffled screams into the darkness of the hallway.

Lisa rubbed her eyes, making sure she had really seen what she saw.

"Lisa?!" Tina's voice said, disbelieving her friend had made it to her house all by herself, "Who had to trap you in a straight jacket to get you here?"

"This red head," Lisa stated, turning slightly to point at Irene who had came into the room, "I forgot her name."

Everybody stared at Irene as Lisa placed the wine bottle to her lips & tilted her head back to drink. Nothing came out & Lisa remembered it was empty.

"Where's Ryu?" Irene asked the fighters, noticing her husband wasn't amongst the group.

"I saw him head upstairs," Hitomi answered from the dining room, pointing her spoon up at the stairway, "He wouldn't even have chocolate cheesecake with me!"

Hitomi put her head upon the table & began to cry miserable tears whilst repeatedly banging her fist onto the table. Irene raised an eyebrow at the girl before she headed up the stairs. Lisa stood, watching her retreating figure until she was out of sight. Then there was an awkward silence.

"So who wants to play Twister?" Lisa spoke.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, in another room in the DOA mansion . . .

Candles lit the room, painting the walls, furniture, & the two individuals orange. They were on their knees on the bed, nuzzling each other nose-to-nose.

"I love you!" Kasumi said with a big grin.

"I love _you!_" Ryu said back with a grin also.

"No, I love _you!_"

"But I love you _more!_"

"Wow, I can't believe you left chocolate cheesecake for _me!_"

"Yeah!"

"And you're gonna leave Irene for me, _too?!_"

"Yeah!"

Kasumi's eyes lit up, "Kiss me!"

"Okay!"

Kasumi threw herself onto Ryu, pressing her lips onto his & he wailed in surprise. They fell backwards of the bed & onto the blue carpet in a pit of love. Suddenly the room door burst open & Irene appeared. She looked down to see Kasumi with her lips planted upon her husband's. Seeing her, Ryu quickly grabbed Kasumi's face & threw her off of him. He stood up to greet his wife.

"Hi, Irene!" he said, grinning as if what she seen was her imagination.

Irene face was red with anger. Ryu was cheating on her with another woman the whole time.

"I get stuck in Ninja Gaiden & you go off with another _woman?!_" she shrieked.

Ryu gave a nervous grin as he backed up, expecting her to start throwing fists. Kasumi popped up in front of him, blocking Irene.

"He's my man now!!" she said, triumphantly.

_Dear Christ . . . _Ryu thought, expecting the worse.

"What?!" Irene flared, "If you don't get your munchkin head outta my face!"

"Ding, ding!! Bring it on!!" Kasumi yelled.

Irene reached out to choke her, but Kasumi fought back, swinging her arms in circles. The cat fight continued as Ryu slipped through the doorway. Brad was making his way down the hallway, humming to himself when he spotted Kasumi on the floor, screaming & kicking her legs at Irene.

"What is this?! The fifth fight today?!" he exclaimed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, back in the living room of the DOA mansion . . .

The living room was in a mess of chatter as the game of Twister went on. Lisa, Helena, Bayman, & Christie were on the mat, their body parts twisted in different directions. Arms bent, legs twisted, hips crooked. Tina had the two spinners in her hands, one for color & one for body part. She flicked the pointers, spinning them until they stopped on right hand yellow. She eyed Helena, telling her to make her move. Helena stretched out her arm to reach the yellow spot, grunting as she tried. A few of the fighters cheered her on. Lisa watched in amusement as Helena was reaching the spot inch by inch until . . . her face grew faint. Everybody paused & stared at her. She wasn't moving.

"Helena?" Bayman tried to get her attention.

"My spleen . . ." she muttered.

Lisa tried around as best she could to get comfortable in her mangled position. Then there was a crack & she froze.

"I seemed to have dislocated my shoulder," she said, turning to Helena, "Isn't this awesome?!"

But Helena had passed out, her face meeting the mat.

Before anyone could worry about her, the lights mysteriously cut on, lighting up the rooms & the many faces. The refrigerator hummed in the kitchen & the clocks ticked once again.

"Hey, we got electricity!" Ayane cheered.

The other fighters cheered as well. Christie, Bayman, & Lisa cheered as best they could in the position they were in. They were cut short when thudding of footsteps was quickly making their way towards the living room. They turned their sights towards the dining room where Leifang was running, nearly missing Hitomi on the way.

They watched as she skid to a halt & exclaimed, "This ugly man gave me a generator when I was in the basement!"

When no one responded, but stared, she grabbed her karaoke machine from beside the wall, plugged it in, & turned it on.

"Now I shall sing you a song!" she boomed through the microphone, grinning ear-to-ear.

The fighters flinched at the loud outburst. The machine boomed as a bass played soon bursting into a frenzy of electric guitars.

And Leifang began to sing, "Psycho, groupie, cocaine, crazy, psycho, groupie, coke! Makes you high, makes you hide! Makes you really wanna go-stop! Psycho, groupie, cocaine, crazy!"

Leifang cavorted around the living room floor, not paying any attention to the fighters that were giving her their most perplexed glances. What in grandma's old itchy sweaters was the young woman doing? Tina & Lisa weren't exactly protesting. They were nodding their head to the music & held grins of satisfaction.

"Thank you, Houston! Good night!" Leifang boomed through the microphone when the song ended.

She threw her arms up in victory, soaking up her only applause from Tina (Lisa's hands were busy at the moment). But her moment of fame ended when a cane grabbed her by the neck & yanked her away from the karaoke machine.

And there you have it. Another Christmas in the DOA mansion has ended. We leave the fighters in the midst of their home, ensuring another holiday mixed with chaos & insanity soon. Happy holidays!

End.


End file.
